When you meet someone new, you may find that person interesting or you may find them boring. Can you pinpoint exactly what makes someone appeal to you?
There are many things that might make someone fun to talk with. Maybe they have funny stories to tell. Perhaps they know a lot about a wide variety of subjects. Alternately, they may be a good listener, which might make for a good conversationalist.
Related: Listen to an episode of the Intellectual Roundtable Podcast, where Lee and Michael discuss this question: ‘What gives a person value?’ We discuss another question as well, ‘What makes you you?’
In fact, not everyone finds the same things interesting. To me, a person might be quite dull; but to you, they could be fascinating. So really the question could be rephrased as “What makes a person interesting to you?”
Or maybe it is a fact that all people have something to recommend them, and you only need to put in the work to find out how the person interests you specifically.
At any rate, can you identify the traits someone might have that makes them fun to be around? What might a person do or say in order to participate in a meaningful conversation? When you think about the humans you have been fascinated with, do they have something in common? What makes a person interesting?
Related questions: Who are your most interesting friends? What makes a good friend? What makes a good leader? Who are your heroes?
I find people interesting if they strive to be, know, or do more than they are now while maintaining a healthy balance so that they can continue to meet other life expectations. These people should be intellectually curious, adventurous, and fun. They have goals and like to talk about ways they are actually trying to achieve them. It’s also fun to run across people who have hobbies they are genuinely passionate about. Of course, I also find people interesting if they share some interests and passions of mine.
Most of the time, when I find myself attracted to someone I have just met at a birthday party, game night, cookout, or some other social gathering (not that I am going to many of those these days), it is because they are a good conversationalist.
For me, being a good conversationalist involves two primary skills: having something interesting to say, and listening to the other person. Unsurprisingly, I find asking questions an excellent way to promote conversation.