The more we understand how a habit works, the more likely it is that we will be able to make — or break — habits in our everyday lives.
Everyone is familiar with habits of some kind.
Perhaps you have a bad habit you would like to break. Or you aspire to create one that you hope will improve your life. Alternately, you may already have a routine that you follow every day.
But how do these habits originate?
Most of us are likely familiar with the desire for improvement. For instance, suppose you get a gym membership in January, as part of a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and get in better shape.
Many people in this scenario have every intention to work out regularly, perhaps even several times a week. There is no guarantee, however, that the desire will turn into an actual habit. Wanting to go to the gym and actually going are two different things.
So how does something go from an aspiration to an actual, consistent routine?
Sometimes willpower is sufficient. If you just want something badly enough, you can power your way through to making it happen. However, willpower is not consistent from person to person. For the same person, it can even vary from situation to situation or from day to day.
When willpower is not enough, what can we do to turn our hopes into concrete actions? What steps can we take in order to create a habit?
Related questions: What unusual habit do you have? What is one thing you feel the need to do every day? Are routines boring? How do you stick to your resolutions? How do you reward yourself?
A couple of years ago, I read a book by behavioral scientist Katy Milkman titled How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. Milkman begins with how to make a break with the past, and later addresses several barriers that prevent personal change. Each section ends with “Chapter Takeaways” that make for easy reference later.
To begin, Milkman suggests that a fresh start helps initiate change during transitional moments, such as the beginning of a new year or after a significant life event. These fresh starts provide a psychological clean slate, helping individuals distance themselves from past failures and boosting optimism about the future.
Next, Milkman addresses five obstacles to change—impulsivity, procrastination, forgetfulness, laziness, and lack of confidence—and concludes with the tactic of leveraging moral support from others to help someone maintain a good habit. For example, to combat forgetting about a good habit like working out, it’s beneficial to set up a cue. Exercising after work is a common way to remind yourself of the need to work out. Personally, I lay out my workout clothes at the front of my closet, which immediately triggers my intention to exercise in the morning. In fact, I have to consciously decide not to work out if I want to break this good habit.
Regarding her conclusion, which involves using moral support, I have not found an optimal way to solidify this. I used to belong to a small weight-training gym where there were not only supportive people, but they were also engaged in exactly the activity I wanted to undertake. Furthermore, if I had any questions about particular exercises, I had knowledgeable staff and patrons to seek advice from. However, I quit due to my commute time and reluctance to brave the winter elements.
Thankfully, I have devised other strategies not mentioned in Milkman’s book as ways to continue working out. First, I incorporate my exercise into my daily journal: not only do I check a box once I’ve worked out, but I also write about it when the time is right. Second, I like to stack good habits. For instance, I am more inclined to eat a healthy breakfast after a good workout. Third, while I lack supportive advice from staff at a gym, I do selectively use my wife to prod me to get down to the basement, which is where my exercise equipment is. (I don’t want to rely on Rebecca too much; I don’t want to burden her or “make her responsible” for my morning workout.” But sometimes I find that asking her if I should get myself in gear, the answer — her answer — is pretty obvious. Lastly, I use my watch for technological support.
While I’ve used working out as an example, I think other habits also follow Milkman’s advice as well as mine. Do fresh starts help with many examples? Check. How about setting up cues in other instances? Yep. Relying on moral and technological support? I think that’s another “Yes.” Does journaling to embed a good habit in your brain help? I think you get the picture.