Everyone likes to feel that others are sincerely listening to their ideas, fears, and concerns. Do you feel heard?
It is all too easy to imagine that you are invisible. At work, your boss might be oblivious to your ideas. At home, your partner is focused on their own needs. Friends don’t return calls or texts. You have so much to say, but it seems that no one is listening.
That feeling can be demoralizing. Why continue to make an effort if no one notices?
To avoid feeling this way, it is important that we feel heard. Whether it is in the office, at home, or from our elected leaders, having someone acknowledge you can make all the difference.
Of course, no one can have every idea be meaningful or important. There are, after all, other people, with their own motivations and thoughts and ideas. But having someone listen, really listen to you, can make you feel better even if nothing else results from it.
Are there areas of your life where you feel heard? Did you do anything to make that happen? Alternately, do you ever feel ignored or trivialized by someone important to you? How can you respond in a productive way?
Related questions: Who hears your voice? What is your voice? How can we become better listeners?
At home, I feel truly heard. Every morning, Rebecca and I talk about what we’re working through, what our days will look like, things we want to do to keep our home comfortable and well-maintained, and issues and thoughts we’re struggling with. I cherish these conversations, and if they don’t happen, I feel like my day hasn’t started right.
At work, I feel heard by my boss and the organizing team I often collaborate with. My recommendations are fully listened to, even if they are not always followed. But, hey, you can’t always get what you want. Also, since my job is to persuade legislators in the Minnesota Legislature to adopt our recommendations for new tenant rights and protections, I feel heard by most members of one caucus and heard but often ignored by the other, as they tend to listen more to what landlords have to say than our organization. It’s a tough job, and a lot of compromise is often necessary to get both Democrats and Republicans to see the issues as my organization does.
I feel understood by my comrade, Lee Urton, in maintaining this blog. Each week, before we start brainstorming questions for the world to ponder and answer, Lee and I have a 90-minute chat about what’s going on in our lives and ideas we’re trying to develop or wrestle with. It’s one of the highlights of my week.
Lastly, I belong to two discussion groups that tackle philosophical questions. Yesterday, after discussing the question “What is purpose?” a member of the group complimented me for “bringing such heart” to the group. I felt deeply heard at that moment.