Choosing the values that mean something to you is an important part of establishing a personal identity. But what happens if your values conflict with society’s?
Deciding what matters to you and what values you want to live by is something that we all must do at some point. If you value, for example, curiosity and discovery, your life may be very different than if you value financial independence.
Determining your values is not an easy task, and they may very well change over time. As you age, what is important to you might evolve, and your values will also change as a result.
The same is true for a society. What a community thinks is important and what gets collective attention and resources can vary, sometimes quite drastically. This might be influenced by a wide set of variables, including prominent individuals, technological change, international events, pop culture, and so on.
For example, in the early 1950s, space exploration was not a high priority for most. Then the Soviet Union launched Sputnik, kicking off the space race. President Kennedy then challenged our ambition, saying, “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills.”
Values changed, and that dictated where our time, money, and energy was spent.
Given that both individuals and societies can have values and priorities, what happens when those two inevitably come into conflict?
The last ten or fifteen years have seen drastic changes to public values, which in turn has alienated or isolated people who disagreed with those changes. Is there a productive, healthy way to deal with that? How can an individual be true to what they believe in if all around them is the opposite?
Related questions: What are your values? How do you demonstrate your values? What is important? What makes a community?
One of my core values is idealism. Unfortunately, no matter which political party is in power, I feel a lot of societal pressure to be more of a realist. Some politicians tell me to lower my expectations because they believe my expectations are unrealistic or even selfish. Some people in my social groups laugh at the positions of idealists, not caring that someone among them may hold several idealistic goals. Some family members worry that my mental health might worsen if “I don’t get my way.” (It won’t.)
I believe in a quote often attributed to Nelson Mandela: “It always seems impossible until it is done.” You see, the impossible won’t be achieved unless many idealists come together and develop a strategy to make the impossible possible. In fact, my goal for my policy work is to make change desirable, necessary, and possible. Yes, some change will happen gradually. Other goals might take more than a lifetime to reach. As an advocate, I understand that some changes will be slow. While I care deeply about those who suffer during that time, I couldn’t care less about what the naysayers say.
How can I fail if my actions align with my values? Upholding my values and acting with integrity should guide me toward a successful life.
The context for this question asks if there is a productive or healthy way to handle how I feel when my pursuits conflict with those around me. Heartfelt conversations between two parties aim, first, to gain respect — unless the other person is driven by hatred. I am willing to talk with others who wonder why I believe what I believe. As long as we both agree to discuss instead of fight, I’m ready to engage.