We are painfully familiar with our own flaws. Is there one flaw in particular that you would change if you could? Is there more than one?
Share why if you wish.
Asking — and answering — life's interesting questions
We are painfully familiar with our own flaws. Is there one flaw in particular that you would change if you could? Is there more than one?
Share why if you wish.
My flaws are myriad. I wish I were no longer deaf in my right ear. I wish I had not lost my hair — not because I care so much about how I look (ok, maybe a little) but mostly because having to worry about getting a sunburned scalp is a pain. I wish I was more efficient with my time, so I could get more stuff done, and I wasn’t always running late for everything.
But the one physical flaw that I would fix — and it may seem trivial to you — is I wish I could whistle. I used to get so much joy and happiness from whistling, and following brain surgery twenty five years ago, I can no longer whistle. It makes me sad nearly every day.
If I could, I would like to always have a cheerful expression without having to think about it. I too wish I could whistle. I have found that I can make a little self-induced music by drumming on my thighs with my hands. That kind of makes me happy.
Okay. There are probably more important flaws to fix, but this is what popped into my head this morning:
I was a pretty decent marathoner 15 – 20 years ago even though I ran each of the seven I’ve completed with injuries. My legs and lower back are misaligned. Eventually, I had to quit training as the injuries (e.g., sciatica, plantar fasciitis, a limping run due to the imbalance) popped up earlier and earlier in my training programs.
I loved training with a group and camaraderie accompanied that. I loved the runner’s high that followed many of my long training runs. I loved racing. And I loved the feeling of crossing the finish line 26.2 miles after the start.
I wish my body’s misalignment could be fixed permanently. Physical therapy helped me complete many of the marathons I did run, but I wish the long-term flaw could be fixed, and I could train again.
I worry too much about how others perceive my physical appearance. Thoughts about how I might appear to others can prevent me from living joyfully. For example, I don’t dance and rarely swim. This is a flaw I’ve been working to heal. I’ve made some real progress, but I still have plenty of growing to do.
I remember hearing comedian Stephen Colbert talk about the time he was in his early 20s, and just settling in to the improv scene in Chicago. He would regularly put himself in awkward social situations, just to see how uncomfortable he could make it. For example, he would sing, loudly, on an elevator with other people (poeple that he did not know). He said it helped him grow comfortable with his body and his self, and to realize that there was very little consequence to being thought strange by the people around him.
It might be going a bit too far to do what he did, but I wonder if there is a way to go beyond your personal comfort zone to help you grow less concerned with what other people think?
Yes! That is surely the path.
To quote Prof. Brené Brown, “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging. Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”
I’ve read “The Gifts of Imperfection” and am currently reading “Daring Greatly.” Very helpful material!