We all have loss in our lives. While we can’t control that loss, we can control how we react to it. We can learn from loss.
It is important to learn from our experiences throughout our lives. After all, the only way to grow and improve, is to learn from what happens to you. While it is possible to learn from your successes and from your wins, the opportunity for self-improvement is much greater from your failures and from your losses.
When you lose someone close to you, or someone who meant a lot to you, the initial inclination is to be sad. That makes sense. The person is no longer around to make you laugh. Or to inspire you. Or simply to sit and talk with.
However, there is a better way to honor their memory. When the person was alive, you learned from them. If you make a list — an actual, enumerated list of the lessons you learned from talking with, listening to, or watching them, it will help you feel gratitude that they were in your life.
That’s one type of learning. In addition, dealing with loss can help you learn about yourself. How do you react to sadness? How do you process grief? How do you commiserate with others?
Loss is a great time for introspection. What can you learn from loss?
Related questions: How do you deal with loss? When is is useful to fail? Why are people afraid of death?
I draw two lessons if the loss is that of a loved one. The first is obvious: you can’t go back to how things were before. They’re gone. Eventually, in going through the grieving process, we need to accept this. But as the context for this question states, it is best to find strength by internalizing the lessons you learned and the gifts you were given through having that person a part of your life.
The second lesson was given to my wife, Rebecca, while her dad was in hospice care: today is the best day. While reflecting on how someone who matters to you will happen after they are gone, I think we all could admit to not letting friends and loved ones know how important they are to us while they are actively part of our lives. Today is the best day to tell someone you love how much they matter to you.