Have you ever participated in a conversation that immediately seared itself into your memory? Has a talk you’ve had ever been that impactful?
Conversation is the primary way we humans communicate with each other. While some conversations may be routine or trivial, others can be profound or even life-changing.
For instance, think of the discussions you have had while falling in love. That might eventually lead to making room for someone else in your life. It might even result in marriage and possibly starting a family. While there are other ways to express love, talking is something we all engage in all the time.
Can you think of conversations that you have had that have stayed with you long after? Have you had discussions that have changed your life? What, if anything, can you identify as a commonality in these meaningful interactions?
Related questions: How can we encourage meaningful conversation? What makes something memorable? Where do shared ideas exist? How can we maintain wonder? How can we become better listeners?
I could choose more life-changing conversations to answer this question, but most are rooted in negative feelings that I’ve let go of. Thus, I will write about two smaller events that have occupied space in my mind.
First, in a conversation that I remember as instrumental in solidifying my friendship with Lee, my partner in this Intellectual Roundtable endeavor, he mentioned how avoiding verbs like “ am, “ “ is, “ and “ are “ can make a discussion more dynamic. If I recall correctly, this occurred at a party during our college days. We stepped away from the crowd and engaged in a thoughtful dialogue for the next few hours. Most importantly, Lee and I shared aspects of our lives that elevated our friendship to a deeper level.
Second, I recently spoke up in a two-hour exchange with about ten people regarding the nature of different types of hierarchies. While the discussion started as a philosophical and theoretical conversation, I decided to ask the participants if they felt powerful and, thus, not at the bottom of a hierarchy. Most group members shared that they did not go through life feeling powerful. I told them that they possessed more power than they realized. To illustrate my point, I shared some of my experiences organizing with people experiencing homelessness. I explained how, once these individuals realized they did not need to accept their position on the lower rungs of society, they could accomplish great things. And they did. Their collective actions led to improvements in their living situations both outside and in an emergency shelter. They collaborated to enhance their interactions with local law enforcement. They helped register people in their community to vote, and then they voted. I provided even more examples of this. I then noted that if people experiencing homelessness could rise up from the hierarchies that held them down, then so could the individuals in this group with whom I was speaking. I could see the participants reflecting deeply on how they could make a difference. They asked me a couple of questions, but soon our meeting time was over. Still, it was a magical experience I don’t think I’ll forget.