Category: Experience

What Are Your Social Rituals?

We humans are social creatures. As such, we find ourselves in social situations often. Are there any rituals you follow, either in preparation or in those situations?

Think about all the social situations you participate in over the course of a few weeks or months. That might include everything from a birthday party, to a sporting event to a nightclub raver. And many, many more possibilities as well, of course.

Now think about each one of those events, from planning, to preparation, to event, to afterward. Can you think of what commonalities they have? Of course, it doesn’t need to be included every single time, but you may have some activities that you do regularly, perhaps even ritualistically.

Besides being social creatures, we are also a species that values rituals. Building a routine comes naturally to us. This has a number of different advantages, including helping us not to forget important steps, as well as in maximizing our enjoyment.

Let’s say, for example, you attend a live music concert, and while you enjoy it, the music was so loud that your ears were ringing afterward. Maybe next time you bring earplugs, and you enjoy that show even more. Then you choose to make it a ritual — each time you go to a concert, you bring along ear plugs. And perhaps even additional pairs for friends that go with you.

These rituals can take any number of forms. Maybe you always wear the same pair of lucky socks. Or make a checklist of things to bring. Perhaps you take a moment in the middle of the event to appreciate what you like about it. Or write about it in a journal afterward so you remember the highlights.

Each person may have slightly — or even wholly — different things they like to do in social situations. Can you think of ones that you do, or that you have seen in a partner, a parent, or a close friend? What are your social rituals?

Related questions: What is the most fun thing you’ve done this week? How important is ceremony? Introvert or extrovert? What is your favorite shared experience?

How Do You Make Friends As An Adult?

For many children making friends is remarkably easy. However, adults often find it more challenging. How do you make friends as an adult?

Children are not picky about their friends. Thus, another child, say, at the park, or in the grocery store aisle, just might be your new friend.

However, as you age and learn more about yourself as a person, you become more selective regarding your friends. They need to share an interest or two with you. Their personality needs to be compatible with yours. You have to be able to find a common schedule, which is not always easy.

Moreover, the social opportunities available to meet potential friends may shrink as well. Rather than attending school with dozens or even hundreds of people your own age, you may work in a company with people from drastically different ages and backgrounds.

Listen to a podcast where Michael and Lee discuss a related question: ‘How do you think others see you?’ We also discuss a bonus question: ‘How can we maintain wonder?’

Even if you do meet people, for instance, at a friend’s party. Will you be able to find a common area of interest in the limited amount of time you have together?

Another potential problem someone may face in making new friends is that you don’t need any. That is, your social circle may already be as full as you want it to be, so you may not be looking for, or open to, meeting someone new.

All of which can make it harder for an adult to make friends, when compared to a child. How can these problems be overcome? Are there any methods you have discovered that allow you to make friends as an adult?

Related questions: What qualities do you look for in a friend? Can an Internet friend be a true companion? Would you be friends with yourself? What fictional character would you like to befriend?

Are There Beliefs About Yourself You’ve Had To Let Go?

It is a simple fact that people change and grow over time. Have you ever been aware of your personal change, and jettisoned beliefs about yourself?

These changes can be something simple and straightforward. For example, later in life you might grow to like a food that you couldn’t stand before. Your belief about yourself (i.e. “I don’t like tomatoes”) might need to be amended, or even dropped.

But sometimes, the belief in question might be quite abstract, or even key to your concept of self. As you age, cornerstone beliefs, like political party, religious affiliation, or career aspirations might need to be tweaked. Some might even require a complete overhaul.

Listen to a podcast where Michael and Lee discuss a related question: ‘What beliefs do you have that might be wrong?’ We also discuss a bonus question: ‘What makes a place feel like home?’

An extreme example of this would be a belief that you felt was central to who you are, one that you swore repeatedly would never change. And yet, over time, as your experiences increase, you attitude might shift subtly at first, and eventually become completely different. Has this ever happened to you?

Introspection can be a valuable tool in your mental health tool kit. Knowing what you believe in, and periodically reviewing those beliefs, can lead to your being honest with yourself. It might also lead to a mo0re fulfilled life.

Do you have any beliefs about yourself that have changed over time?

Related questions: How have you changed? What makes you you? How can we encourage meaningful conversation? What is necessary to change your mind?

 

 

How Have You Been Impacted By The Place Or Time Of Your Birth?

There are many factors that make one individual different from another. One of those factors might be the location or the time of your birth. What do you think about yours?

There is no doubt that each person is unique, set apart from all the others by their experiences as well as by their DNA. It is also true that we human beings like to celebrate birthdays. Are those two things related?

Certainly, fans of astrology like to believe that the stars in the sky at the time of your birth, and possibly the position of the planets as well, determine your personality. That’s why, they say, a Gemini is different from an Aries.

Rationally, it is hard to imagine the mechanism which would allow stars to have that kind of impact. However, there may be a more earthbound explanation. Could the time of your of your birth impact your development? Does a child born in the winter have a different development curve than one born in summer? Is a spring baby different from an autumn baby?

Listen to a podcast where Michael and Lee discuss a related question: ‘What makes you you?’ We also discuss a bonus question: ‘What gives a person value?’

Similarly, does the geographic location have any sort of long-term impact on an individual? In a very simple way, this must be true — a baby born in a country that has a lower infant mortality rate is more likely to grow to adulthood.

But what about more subtle differences? Does the simple act of being born in Seattle make for a different experience than being born in Atlanta? Is being born in a hospital drastically different from being born at home?

Or are the differences instead due to childhood development that comes later in life? Does it matter more where someone lives at, say, five years old than where they were at birth?

Most of us know, with a great level of certainty, exactly when and where we were born. Do those facts say anything in particular about us as people?

Related questions: What makes a community? Why do you live where you live? How many times did you move as a child? Birthday: Celebrate or not?