The political discourse in the United States — and really, at many places all over the world — has gotten to be very negative. In times like this, to avoid becoming too depressed, it is important to remember the kindness that has been shown to you.
People can be kind in small ways or in large. Little things can help make your day a little better. And, of course, great acts of kindness can change the course of your entire life.
What is the kindest thing someone has done for you? How did you repay that kindness? What is the kindest thing you have done for someone else?
Related questions: What are our responsibilities to others? What does it mean to be thankful? What makes a community? How can we appreciate life more?
This is a dangerous question. There is so much kindness that’s been extended to me in my life. And some of it may not be coming to mind at this moment.
That said, I believe the kindest thing someone has done for me is to plan out huge parts of Rebecca’s and my wedding and the immediate aftermath. And who did this? None other than the Intellectual Roundtable’s co-author, Lee Urton, and very likely his partner, Marsha Pelletier.
Rebecca and I wanted an intimate wedding — very few people — with the ceremony really focused on us. We did the work with the Justice of the Peace, what we would wear, and the bouquet of flowers. Most of the rest we left up to Lee. Oh, it’s worth noting that Rebecca and I live(d) in St. Paul, Minnesota; Lee and Marsha live(d) in Boston. So we were going to escape and have the wedding in a place where Lee (and, again, likely Marsha) really did have full control over all else.
So, here’s what was taken care of for us:
– the site of the wedding (a perfect outdoor spot at the Boston Arboretum)
– the musicians (two-thirds of the band, the Cello Chix)
– the photographer (Lee’s friend, Harold, who luckily was taking a photography class)
– Lee and Marsha also served as our witnesses
– After the wedding, Lee and Marsha took us out to eat at a bustling restaurant in Little Italy and then brought us to an Italian dessert place where I believe we all got cannoli
– To top it all off, Lee and Marsha insisted we head back to their place. As we entered their home, kazoos blew and confetti fell as Lee and Marsha’s friends yelled “Surprise!” and congratulated us on getting married. A fairly large group of people we didn’t know — except Lee, Marsha, and another friend from college, Chris Porter, threw us a potluck and celebration. We just sat back and soaked it all in. We had no obligations other than to have a good time.
Thank you, Lee and Marsha!
After having my third child I was very sick and weak. He was also a very needy baby, requiring someone to carry/hold him, tightly swaddled, for the first several weeks of his life. I developed postpartum depression and was having a difficult time coping with everything.
I remember two friends coming over to let me sleep a little while they took care of him. They sent me to bed and when I woke up a few hours later they had cleaned my whole house and made dinner! It was a wonderful surprise!
This is a little embarrassing because when I think of all the kindness my wife has given to me, day-in-and day-out, I’m both in awe and humbled at the same time. For example, yesterday, she did the grocery shopping and ran errands for us. Today she raked leaves, and made a delicious supper for the two of us. Tomorrow she will wash my clothes, fold them, and put them away. I call her the “clothes fairy” – the clothes just magically appear in my dresser each week.
Here comes the embarrassing part. A few years ago, after my son-in law watched how we live, he asked me “Tom, just what is it you do?”