Who Do You Want To Reestablish Contact With?

Of all the people you have known over your lifetime, are there people you have lost touch with that you would like to contact once again?

As social animals, the relationships we have with others are tremendously important. Part of what makes life enjoyable is the pleasure we get from the presence of other people. The company of a good friend is irreplaceable.

And yet, as the years go by, we might lose touch with one or more of these people. There are many reasons why this might happen: someone moves away. Busy lives and/or full schedules. A falling out over religion, or politics, or some other personal matter. You can probably think of others.


Listen to a podcast where Michael and Lee discuss a related question: ‘Are we too busy?’ We also discuss a bonus question: ‘What are our responsibilities to others?’


Technology is a two-edged sword when it comes to maintaining relationships.

In some ways, it is easier than ever to stay in touch. People carry phones with them everywhere. Video conferencing is ubiquitous. Sending a text message or an email is fast and easy, and messages can travel around the world in a matter of moments.

However, social media — despite the name — inhibits social interaction. If you can read a post, scroll though someone’s feed, or watch a recording, why would you need additional contact? In fact, calls are frowned upon in favor of texts, yet a text message is much less interactive than a call.

Is there someone — or multiple someones — from your life that you wish you were more frequently in touch with? Whose company you miss, but for whatever reason you are no longer in regular contact?

If a good friend, or mentor, or confidant, has died, of course, they are beyond connection. Short of that, can you pinpoint exactly why you lost touch with someone you like? And what, if anything, might you do to change that?

Related questions: Who do you miss? What do you get out of social media? What are our responsibilities to others? Are we too busy?

How Do You Make Friends As An Adult?

For many children making friends is remarkably easy. However, adults often find it more challenging. How do you make friends as an adult?

Children are not picky about their friends. Thus, another child, say, at the park, or in the grocery store aisle, just might be your new friend.

However, as you age and learn more about yourself as a person, you become more selective regarding your friends. They need to share an interest or two with you. Their personality needs to be compatible with yours. You have to be able to find a common schedule, which is not always easy.

Moreover, the social opportunities available to meet potential friends may shrink as well. Rather than attending school with dozens or even hundreds of people your own age, you may work in a company with people from drastically different ages and backgrounds.


Listen to a podcast where Michael and Lee discuss a related question: ‘How do you think others see you?’ We also discuss a bonus question: ‘How can we maintain wonder?’


Even if you do meet people, for instance, at a friend’s party. Will you be able to find a common area of interest in the limited amount of time you have together?

Another potential problem someone may face in making new friends is that you don’t need any. That is, your social circle may already be as full as you want it to be, so you may not be looking for, or open to, meeting someone new.

All of which can make it harder for an adult to make friends, when compared to a child. How can these problems be overcome? Are there any methods you have discovered that allow you to make friends as an adult?

Related questions: What qualities do you look for in a friend? Can an Internet friend be a true companion? Would you be friends with yourself? What fictional character would you like to befriend?

Can An Internet Friend Be A True Companion?

As we spend more time online, we are bound to make friends there. But can an Internet friend be as good a friend — or even better — as one you meet in person?

In some ways, it makes sense that you could find a connection with someone online. After all, without geography limiting the people you can interact with, you are bound to meet people that share your interests — like an obscure band, a niche artist, or a cult movie — that you might not meet otherwise.

In addition, we have a multitude of ways to communicate over long distances. Everything from hand-written letters to phone calls, from text messages to video conferencing. As a result, if the motivation to stay in touch with someone exists, there are several different ways to do it.


Related: Listen to an episode of the Intellectual Roundtable Podcast, where Lee and Michael discuss this question: ‘How can we encourage debate?’ We discuss another question as well, ‘What is the value of inefficiency?’


However, each one of us has a physical presence. We evolved to be attuned to the physical presence of someone else. This might include unspoken communication like body language, pheromones, and body heat. There is something about the touch of another human being that produces a chemical reaction inside your body. And it is not just limited to intimacy.

So what do you think? Can a friendly relationship between two people be sustained solely through e-mail messages, Zoom calls, and social media posts? Or is a true, deep, thoughtful friendship dependent on physical proximity? Can an Internet friend be a true companion?

Related questions: What makes a friendship? What do you get out of social media? How can we engage in meaningful conversation? What makes a community?

Who Is In Your Credits Reel?

Do you have an important project, favorite pastime, or significant period of your life? Of course you do; everyone does. Now, imagine it as a movie. Since this movie features you, you decide to stick around through the credits reel. Who would make the post-movie scroll of names?

For example, perhaps you trained for and ran a marathon. Who trained with you for the event? Was it just you? Did a few friends join you? Or did you run with a running club? Did someone coach you or the group? These people definitely fit in the cast.

The people who supported you in your training are also important. Some, most certainly, also fit in the cast. But some belong to the movie’s crew. Who provided you with weekly mileage and running time advice? If you ran with a club, a trained group leader likely filled this role. If it was just you or you and some friends, maybe you followed a book’s advice. Who was the author?


Related: Listen to an episode of the Intellectual Roundtable Podcast, where Lee and Michael discuss the question: ‘How do you show thanks?’ as well as a bonus question, ‘What book has had the biggest impact on you?’


On a more personal level, did your spouse or roommates take care of many of the household chores during the time you spent training? On a grander scale, do you know who staffed the race’s starting or finish line roles? Who took care of the water stops?

In addition, let’s assume you are even interested in some of the smaller roles. Movies often credit caterers. Did your neighborhood deli sell you an awesome sandwich to replenish your carbs and protein after each of your long training runs? Now, on to the movie’s soundtrack. On your solo training runs did you listen to a favorite playlist?

Of course, running a marathon is not the only potential “movie” in your life. Did friends help you with a major house renovation? Did doctors, a therapist, friends, and neighbors ever help you through a terrible illness? Each one could have it’s own movie, and therefore it’s own credits reel.

A credits reel is a decent metaphor to help you classify, name, and show gratitude for who helped you as you worked on finishing a project, improving in your hobby, or helping you accomplish or make it through an important period of your life.

So have at it. Think of a movie about you you’d like to watch. Who is in your credits reel?

Related questions: How do you show thanks? What are you grateful for? Who is your MVP for the year? Who would you like to give a shut out to right now?