Category: Risk

Do You Help A Friend Even If You Disagree With Them?

People, even close friends, are bound to disagree from time to time. When that happens, do you support your friend, even if you think they are wrong?

Even people who agree on most subjects will disagree once and awhile, often about very important topics. It is bound to happen, because each person has a different background with different experiences and therefore different opinions.

No doubt something like this has happened to you at some point. For instance, you might not like a significant other they have chosen. Do you keep your opinions to yourself, or risk alienating your friend if they choose the relationship over you? What if it is serious enough to involve marriage, and you think it is a bad match? Do you speak up?

For another example, people often disagree about money. Perhaps your friend wants to buy a house that you think they can’t afford. Do you offer your friend support, possibly even financial support? Or would you be honest, with the potential consequence of offending your friend?

You can probably think of other examples. Maybe your friend wants to leave a stable job to pursue a dream job that carries the risk of failure. Or the reverse: your friend values stability when you think it is best to take a risk for something they believe in.

The key issue is a disagreement over something important. Do you think a good friend is someone who is cheerleader despite their own misgivings? Or do you think you are serving your friend better if you are honest about your own opinion, even if it might put stress on your relationship?

Related questions: What makes a good friend? What makes a friendship? When is a lie justified? What is truth?

How Do You Resist?

In every life, there will come a time when you don’t like what is going on around you. When that happens, how do you resist?

There are many scenarios that require resistance. As a rebellious teenager, for example, you might not want to do what your parents try to force you into doing. Or, perhaps, an overbearing boss seems determined to make you do something that you disagree with.

Whatever the particulars of the situation happen to be, they have one thing in common. In each case, an authority figure with more power and resources tries to control your actions. This can be frustrating, depressing, and dangerous. You might feel helpless and powerless, at the whim of others.

The good news, however, is that history is full of examples where a smaller, less powerful force wins out in the end.

Resistance comes in many forms. Sometimes, it might mean just patiently waiting for the environment to change. Someone with more authority might step in, for instance. The boss who gives you a hard time might be fired by their boss.

Another way to resist is to mobilize and organize. There is nothing more dispiriting than to feel you are alone against a much larger, more entrenched group. But there are likely others around you that share your viewpoint, and building coalitions can help spark ideas and increase your ability to make change.

Sometimes resisting can be very public and showy, like marching in a parade or attending a protest. But more often, just throwing metaphorical sand in the gears can be effective. Can you think of ways you might do this?

How do you resist someone that has advantages over you and your point of view?

Related questions: How do you stand up to a bully? Where does authority come from? How much power does an individual have? How do you deal with situations beyond your control?

What Keeps You Motivated?

It is one thing to get motivated to take a risk or to start something new. It is another to maintain that motivation.

It is an all too common story: you are excited to start something new.  That excitement wanes, however, as you get into mundane — but necessary — tasks. It might even ebb so low that you forego the project altogether.

As it turns out, there are two different, yet equally important, steps. One is to work up the motivation necessary to begin. The other is to remain motivated, through all the ups and downs that may follow.

Building the initial excitement is not a trivial task. But let’s assume for a moment that you can work up the necessary enthusiasm. How do you keep motivated, or at the very least, keep working despite fading energy?

Do you continually remind yourself of the end goal you are trying to achieve? Or do you enlist the help of others that you hope will motivate you? Do you try and structure the project so there are a number of accomplishments along the way that you can use as little boosts of momentum? Or perhaps you announce things publicly and hope that outside expectations will provide the necessary motivation?

What keeps you motivated, particularly when that motivation starts to wane?

Related questions: What motivates you? How do other people motivate you? Where do you get your energy? When is it useful to fail?

How Much Risk Makes You Uncomfortable?

Over the course of a lifetime, we all encounter extreme levels of risk at some point. What level of risk makes you uncomfortable?

Risk is all around us.

Sometimes, it is physical. Perhaps you enjoy the high speeds and twisty turns of a roller coaster. Or maybe jumping out of an airplane is on your bucket list.

Another kind of risk is financial. Taking on a large debt, like a mortgage or a student loan, can be daunting. Putting your money in the stock market, where you might lose it, may seem dangerous to some.

There are also other, more abstract, kinds of risk. Asking out someone, with the possibility of being rejected. Leaving a job where you are comfortable for one that might be worse.

Apart from these riskier behaviors, we also do small things are potentially bad or dangerous. However, the downside may be so small, we might not even realize the potential harm.

For example, think about eating some tasty, but unhealthy (or fattening) food. Too much of that can put you at risk for heart disease, not to mention obesity and the many health problems that come with it.

Or maybe you buy the occasional lottery ticket. A few bucks, even if you are unlikely to win, might seem like a gamble you are willing to take for the possibility of a big payout.

Most people probably find a threshold of risk somewhere between these extremes. Not everyone is comfortable with, say, rock climbing. But most people are willing to climb over a few boulders when out for a hike.

What do you find an acceptable level of risk? Has it changed over time, and if so, how? Is your comfort level different for you than it is for a loved one, like a child or an aging parent? Have you forced yourself to take risks that you weren’t comfortable with, because of a potential reward?

Related questions: How do you evaluate risk? When did you last push the boundaries of your comfort zone? What is uncomfortable but rewarding? What is the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?