Category: Help

What Does This Situation Need?

This question comes to us from the TV show Ted Lasso. In the context of the show, it is a strategy in football (soccer), but like many lessons from the show, it is applicable in every part of life.

When a situation develops and you find yourself struggling to take action, this presents a simple plan for handling it. Take a step back and think: what is needed at this moment in time? What is lacking that I can provide? What would make things better?

A key part of this advice is to just stop for a moment to assess. Oftentimes, particularly in a crisis, it feels like there is no time to think, only to act. In reality, though, the right action is much more effective than the wrong action, and taking a pause to consider may be the most important thing you can do.

Also important is determining the proper course of action. If the right action is significantly better than the wrong one, how can we determine what is right? How can we evaluate all the actions we might take to determine the optimal one?

This philosophy suggests thinking about what is missing. This can be challenging because every situation is different. And while at times what is missing is obvious, in others it can be hidden.

Maybe what is missing is communication — two people are both trying to achieve the same goal, but are going about it differently and aren’t working together. Or maybe there aren’t enough helping hands, so you might need to recruit some people to help out. Sometimes you just need some financial resources to add to the mix.

Of course, even if you can identify what is lacking, it’s not always possible to supply it. It is just important to recognize that, however, and look for other ways to address the lack. If you can’t provide what is missing, maybe you can provide someone else who can.

All of this relies on situational awareness and analysis. Being able to accurately figure out what is going on, determining why things are happening, and theorizing how things could be different with different actions taken is important. That takes practice.

Chances are there are areas in your life that could benefit from this way of thinking right now. Can you think of any? How can you test out this approach?

Related questions: How do you need help? How do you define success? When have you made good from a bad situation?

 

How Do You Support Others?

Helping to support people in need is one of the most fundamental of human traits. How might you go about it?

Supporting others is something we are called upon to do at various times in our lives.

From a strictly transactional point of view, it makes sense to do this. After all, there will no doubt be times in your own life when you will need to rely on others. To make sure that help is there when you need it, it makes sense to provide your own support when you are able.

It’s also true that helping others simply feels good. Even when it might be difficult or cause some hardship for you, the happiness or relief that you might bring to someone going through a difficult time can be worth it.

Moreover, you probably want the best for your friends and loved ones. You want to ease their struggle, if you can. Not because you expect something in return, but you want someone you love to have a better life.

So assisting in providing a framework to assist people makes sense. How might you do that?

It might be difficult to provide a simple answer. After all, the ways in which people need support can vary almost infinitely. It might be difficult to list all possibilities.

One way to help is to imagine you were in their shoes. What kind of support would you need in that situation? Is that something you can do, or you can mobilize others to do? You might also ask what help is needed, if you’re unsure.

Can you think of other ways? Are you attuned to who in your orbit needs your support?

Related questions: How can you help? When have you asked for help? What are our responsibilities to others?

Are You Called To Help Others?

One of the most powerful things we can do as a species is to help one another. Do you find yourself offering assistance in some way?

One thing that sets us apart from other animals is our ability to collaborate. One human is not as fast as a cheetah, not as strong as an elephant, and not as tall as a giraffe. Ten humans working together, however, can neutralize any of these advantages.

This is why we have evolved to be social creatures. We enjoy spending time in groups. We swap stories, sing songs, and perform other bonding activities that makes it easier to work together.

An important part of that collaboration is asking for help, and another is offering help when asked. While some individuals might tend to be selfish, others are generous with their time and resources.

Are you one of those people who find yourself compelled to help others? Is there some voice in your head that calls to you to offer your aid? Some humans live their entire lives in service to others, choosing a vocation like teaching, nursing, or a similar occupation.

Others might do something as simple as helping a friend move from one residence to another. Or perhaps mowing a neighbor’s yard, shoveling their sidewalk of snow, or doing odd jobs that need doing.

There are many ways we help one another. Do you feel an urge to be helpful, or are you more concerned with yourself and your immediate family? If you look hard enough, you can always find someone who needs help, so how do you determine who gets your help and who doesn’t?

Related questions: How can you help? When have you asked for help? How can we encourage collaboration?

When Have You Asked For Help?

Life is so complicated that you can’t do everything by yourself. Is there a notable time that you asked for help?

More than any time in history, we live in an integrated world. With the touch of a button, we can speak to someone in real time half a world away. Products or food we consume come from dozens of different countries.

All this interconnectedness makes for a complex existence. The number of variables that might impact you is staggering. Add to that an ever-increasing pace, and you have a recipe for confusion and exhaustion.

With that in mind, it makes sense that we can’t get by as an individual. We need other people to help us in any number of ways.

Sometimes, that help comes automatically. Our society runs more or less on its own. Food shows up at the local grocery store without you having to ask for it. Products are made and services are offered in the normal course of affairs.

However, there are some times when you need to specifically ask for help. If you are overwhelmed, you might need to ask a coworker for assistance. If you just don’t have enough time to accomplish all your necessary tasks, your partner may need to come to your aid. Family, friends, or even complete strangers can be called upon in a variety of ways.

When do you most need help? Is there a particular instance that stands out in some way where you requested assistance from someone? Have you been asked for help? Does your experience being asked for help make it easier for you to, in turn, ask others when you need it? And what happens if you need help and it doesn’t come?

Related questions: How do you need help? How can you help? If you had an assistant, what would you have them do? What makes a good leader?

When Does Something Become An Unhealthy Obsession?

We all have interests. Sometimes, however, an interest can become an obsession that can endanger our mental and emotional well-being.

Obsessive behavior is all too common in our society, from eating disorders to gambling addiction to OCD. There are times we cannot stop our thoughts from damaging our relationships and our very lives.

And yet, obsessions don’t start out as obsessions. They start out as simple interests, the kinds we all have, very naturally, throughout our lives. At some point, however, an interest may undergo a transformation into an unhealthy behavior. We may not be in control of our thoughts, or of our reactions to those thoughts.

How does this change happen? How can you tell if such a thing has happened to you? And if you do manage to recognize it, is there anything you can do to modify your behavior or to lessen the impact on you?

What role does our society play in reinforcing obsessive behavior? And what can we do to proactively reduce the likelihood of an interest become an obsession? Finally, have you every had obsessive thoughts, and if so, what did you do about it?

Related questions: Could everyone benefit from therapy? How does technology influence your emotions? What should you let go of? How are your body and mind intertwined? How do you find peace when you need it?