Category: Together

How Have You Experienced Collective Grief?

If you experience a loss that is shared by a large group, you might well experience collective grief. What are some examples?

Shared loss can come in many different forms. One of the most common is when a well known figure dies. The death of an accomplished actor, an influential musician, or sports idol can be very powerful, and affect a large group of people.

When Prince died, for example, people gathered outside his Minnesota home to pay their respects. Sales of his albums spiked, and many fans wore his signature color purple in his honor.

Another example is some sort of large-scale tragedy. Individuals tell stories of where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001. Shocking events, like the assassination of JFK, the attack on Pearl Harbor, or the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger were all notable and seared into public consciousness.

There have been several of these events over the last decade or so. In one year alone, we had the public shutdown from COVID-19 in March 2020, followed by the marches after the murder of George Floyd later that summer, to the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021. Each event, in it’s own way, was cause for grief and sorrow.

Are there events, these or others, that led to a large outpouring of emotion for you and people around you? Have you experienced a neighborhood trying to find a way to make sense of tragedy, as frustration and grief and anger all go through individuals and groups? What has brought solace to you, as well as to friends and neighbors in your community?

Related questions: How can we turn sadness into constructive action? How do you maintain hope? With which groups do you identify? Are we living through history?

How Important Is Family?

Many of our holiday traditions are centered around family. But just how important are the people related to us, and how do they impact our lives?

If pop culture is to be believed, family is all important. Gathering together, exchanging gifts, eating a festive meal — that’s the image we have of the season. There are numerous songs, movies, and TV shows that make this point. Businesses even try and draw that comparison: “When you are here, you are family.”

But is that true? Of course, it is important to be supported and to be loved. That support and love, however, could just as easily come from friends or neighbors as from people who are genetically related.

In fact, who you are related to is somewhat random. Parents know that their kids can be wildly different from one another. One might be athletic, another studious and uncoordinated. One loud and outgoing, another quiet and shy. There is no guarantee that you will share traits or interests with someone who happens to be a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt or uncle.

It is difficult to deny, however, the role that our relatives play in our lives.  Our parents provide guidance and support. Siblings are often drawn close from the shared formative experiences they have.

Is that simply a remnant of our evolutionary development? Humans evolved as hunter gatherers, where a tightly-woven clan probably increased the odds of survival. Of course, what was true for our ancestors may also be true for us.

As you maybe visiting some right now or in the past week or two, ask yourself: How important is family?

Related questions: Why do we feel the need to belong? How have your parents influenced you? What does the holiday mean to you? Is your pet part of your family?

When Have You Asked For Help?

Life is so complicated that you can’t do everything by yourself. Is there a notable time that you asked for help?

More than any time in history, we live in an integrated world. With the touch of a button, we can speak to someone in real time half a world away. Products or food we consume come from dozens of different countries.

All this interconnectedness makes for a complex existence. The number of variables that might impact you is staggering. Add to that an ever-increasing pace, and you have a recipe for confusion and exhaustion.

With that in mind, it makes sense that we can’t get by as an individual. We need other people to help us in any number of ways.

Sometimes, that help comes automatically. Our society runs more or less on its own. Food shows up at the local grocery store without you having to ask for it. Products are made and services are offered in the normal course of affairs.

However, there are some times when you need to specifically ask for help. If you are overwhelmed, you might need to ask a coworker for assistance. If you just don’t have enough time to accomplish all your necessary tasks, your partner may need to come to your aid. Family, friends, or even complete strangers can be called upon in a variety of ways.

When do you most need help? Is there a particular instance that stands out in some way where you requested assistance from someone? Have you been asked for help? Does your experience being asked for help make it easier for you to, in turn, ask others when you need it? And what happens if you need help and it doesn’t come?

Related questions: How do you need help? How can you help? If you had an assistant, what would you have them do? What makes a good leader?

Should We Respect Institutions?

In the news today, there is a lot of talk about institutions that are present in our lives. How important is it to respect those institutions?

There are many organizations and structures — institutions — that exist in modern day society. Some help people, but some are used to take advantage of them. Some maintain fairness for everyone, but others make discrimination and unfairness official.

There is also a growing movement to radically change or even dismantle some of these structures. That instinct is understandable, particularly when they are perceived to be causing an injustice of some sort.

One problem that arises is that different groups disagree on which organizations are beneficial, and which ones need to be reformed. I might think that Department A is important, but Department B is not. You, on the other hand, feel the exact opposite. What should we do?

Two questions seem relevant: 1) How do we determine the relative importance of each individual institution? 2) In the case where an institution needs change, what is the best way to implement that change?

Our society thrives on stability. The stock market depends on it. Consumer confidence relies on it. Even an individual’s sense of safety and security in their community can be impacted by instability.

With that in mind, should we be making changes to our institutions at all? Even the ones that could be made more fair and even? But if we don’t change, are we accepting the flaws that currently exist in the system?

In many ways, our lives are ruled by the structures all around us. Do we show them respect, and what does “respect” even mean in this instance?

Related questions: How important is respect? What role should government play in our lives? Who has power? What are our responsibilities to others?

What Are Some Unusual Collaborations?

Following up on Sunday’s question about unusual collaborations, what are some of the notable ones that come to mind?

Share why if you wish.