Category: Sadness

How Do You Deal With Disappointment?

Disappointment is something that we all have in common. The way we deal with it, though, can vary drastically.

When something disappoints you, it is only natural to be sad. You expected one outcome, and it didn’t happen. How else should you feel?

It depends on the situation, of course. Another common emotion that you might feel is anger. You might be mad at the universe, or at someone specific, or even at yourself. Who feels the brunt of your anger is difficult to predict.

You might also feel confused, depending on your level of certainty prior to the disappointment. How could such a thing happen?

One thing these emotions have in common is that they are negative emotions. It is rare indeed that being disappointed leads to happiness, or contentment, or joy of any kind.

The resulting actions, though, can be positive or negative. Sadness might lead to depression, or it might lead to empathy for others dealing with similar situations. A violent outburst might result from anger, but it might strengthen your resolve. Confusion could cause you to give up; alternately confusion could trigger curiosity.

How do you deal with disappointment? Has that changed over the years? How is it different when you are the one experiencing it, versus helping someone else who has been disappointed?

Related questions: How can we turn sadness into constructive action? What is the right amount of emotion? When is it useful to fail?

 

How Have You Experienced Collective Grief?

If you experience a loss that is shared by a large group, you might well experience collective grief. What are some examples?

Shared loss can come in many different forms. One of the most common is when a well known figure dies. The death of an accomplished actor, an influential musician, or sports idol can be very powerful, and affect a large group of people.

When Prince died, for example, people gathered outside his Minnesota home to pay their respects. Sales of his albums spiked, and many fans wore his signature color purple in his honor.

Another example is some sort of large-scale tragedy. Individuals tell stories of where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001. Shocking events, like the assassination of JFK, the attack on Pearl Harbor, or the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger were all notable and seared into public consciousness.

There have been several of these events over the last decade or so. In one year alone, we had the public shutdown from COVID-19 in March 2020, followed by the marches after the murder of George Floyd later that summer, to the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021. Each event, in it’s own way, was cause for grief and sorrow.

Are there events, these or others, that led to a large outpouring of emotion for you and people around you? Have you experienced a neighborhood trying to find a way to make sense of tragedy, as frustration and grief and anger all go through individuals and groups? What has brought solace to you, as well as to friends and neighbors in your community?

Related questions: How can we turn sadness into constructive action? How do you maintain hope? With which groups do you identify? Are we living through history?

How Can You Be Grateful In Difficult Times?

When things are going well for you, things to be grateful for may seem fairly obvious. But when things aren’t going so well?

When you are happy — or at least, content — with your life, being thankful is fairly straightforward. What are you happy about? How did that happiness come about? The answers can be the target of your gratefulness.

However, when you are struggling, things aren’t so easy. If your life is in shambles, finding something to be grateful for may be challenging. There are several reasons why this may be so.

First of all, it might be the case that the problems you face are numerous, and in all walks of life. Trouble with your job, your family, your health, and your finances may not leave you with many bright spots.

Even if that isn’t the case, it might feel like it. Problems always seem much bigger that opportunities. Even if you have areas of good fortune, it might be difficult to see them.

And even if you can see them, you might feel like it is inappropriate to acknowledge them. How can I be happy about my good health, for example, if I can’t find a job? It might feel disrespectful, or inappropriate, to be celebrating in times of sorrow.

So how can you manage it? How can you recognize the good that surrounds you, even in the dark? And how can you be thankful, and display it, in a way that is appropriate and helpful? How can you be grateful in difficult times?

Related questions: What are you grateful for? How do you show thanks? What does it mean to be thankful? What are the benefits of expressing gratitude?

What Do You Do To Shake Off A Bad Mood?

Everyone gets in a bad mood every so often. When that happens, how do you get yourself out if it?

Share why if you wish.

How Do You Use Music To Alter Your Mood?

One of the great aspects to music is the way it interacts with our emotions. Do you ever consciously use music to alter your mood?

There are many examples of music intensifying or changing how we feel. A morose soundtrack at a particularly poignant moment of a movie can bring us to tears. A song with a powerful beat can get us on the dance floor. At a rally, an inspirational song can make us feel like anything is possible.

However, these are all examples of how others might use music to make you feel the way they want you to feel. You can also do this yourself, and probably do, to some extent. When you feel angry, you might list to some heavy metal. You may have a workout mix that you listen to at the gym. Some classical music might be good music to study to. You may even have a particular set of songs that help you fall asleep at night.

Listen to a podcast where Michael and Lee discuss a related question: ‘What does your favorite music say about you?’ We also discuss a bonus question: ‘Where does authority come from?’

To follow that idea to its logical conclusion, you could use music as a way of changing or modifying how you feel.

For example, if you are feeling depressed, you might listen to some depressing music to heighten that mood. Alternately, you might choose to upbeat music to try and chase away the blues.

Similarly, soothing music might calm anxious nerves. Or the reverse, with fast-paced music waking you up in the morning. If you are facing a long drive and are feeling drowsy, some dance music might help you stay awake.

Are there times you purposefully use music to make you feel a particular way? Or if you feel a certain way and you don’t want to, do you use music to alter your mood?

Related questions: Why does music evoke emotion? What is the right amount of emotion? What is necessary to change your mind? How much of our thoughts are our own?