Category: Wisdom

What Does This Situation Need?

This question comes to us from the TV show Ted Lasso. In the context of the show, it is a strategy in football (soccer), but like many lessons from the show, it is applicable in every part of life.

When a situation develops and you find yourself struggling to take action, this presents a simple plan for handling it. Take a step back and think: what is needed at this moment in time? What is lacking that I can provide? What would make things better?

A key part of this advice is to just stop for a moment to assess. Oftentimes, particularly in a crisis, it feels like there is no time to think, only to act. In reality, though, the right action is much more effective than the wrong action, and taking a pause to consider may be the most important thing you can do.

Also important is determining the proper course of action. If the right action is significantly better than the wrong one, how can we determine what is right? How can we evaluate all the actions we might take to determine the optimal one?

This philosophy suggests thinking about what is missing. This can be challenging because every situation is different. And while at times what is missing is obvious, in others it can be hidden.

Maybe what is missing is communication — two people are both trying to achieve the same goal, but are going about it differently and aren’t working together. Or maybe there aren’t enough helping hands, so you might need to recruit some people to help out. Sometimes you just need some financial resources to add to the mix.

Of course, even if you can identify what is lacking, it’s not always possible to supply it. It is just important to recognize that, however, and look for other ways to address the lack. If you can’t provide what is missing, maybe you can provide someone else who can.

All of this relies on situational awareness and analysis. Being able to accurately figure out what is going on, determining why things are happening, and theorizing how things could be different with different actions taken is important. That takes practice.

Chances are there are areas in your life that could benefit from this way of thinking right now. Can you think of any? How can you test out this approach?

Related questions: How do you need help? How do you define success? When have you made good from a bad situation?

 

How Do You Deal With Situations Beyond Your Control?

There will always be some things in life that are beyond your control. When that happens, how do you deal with it?

Knowing the difference between things you can control and things you can’t is an important task. One of the most important, in fact. And yet, even if you successfully determine which things are controllable, some things will always elude you.

For example, no matter how hard you try, you can’t change the weather. Some days will be sunny; others rainy. If you live far enough north (or south) there will be snow and ice at some point.

Of course, while it is not possible to manipulate the weather, it is possible to do something about it. You can follow forecasts closely, and dress appropriately for the type of weather predicted. Then you won’t be caught without your umbrella, or sunglasses, or heavy jacket.

What are some other examples of phenomena that are beyond your control? And for those examples, what can you do to lessen the disruption that might occur?

Or maybe you believe that there is nothing that we can’t control if we just try hard (or smart) enough. To use our earlier example, there are plenty of historical examples of rain dances, praying to your god or gods for rain, or planes seeding clouds with crystals. We certainly have evidence of human behavior impacting the planet’s climate.

So how do you deal? Hope for the best but prepare for the worst? Ignore it and hope it goes away? Learn everything you can and try to make change, even when it seems impossible or unlikely?

Related questions: What can you control? How do you deal with uncertainty? What should you let go of? How is climate change impacting you?

When Is Confrontation Preferable?

Confrontation can be awkward for some. In some cases, however, it just might be the preferable course of action. But which cases?

Some people are just naturally non-confrontational. Perhaps it is how they were raised, or maybe it’s just a personality trait. Whatever the reason, there is some subset of the populace that doesn’t feel comfortable confronting others. Even if they deserve it.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are aggressive people for whom confrontation is not an issue. As a default, they might challenge just about anyone they meet, for the slightest — or even no — reason.

Chances are, you lie somewhere between these two extremes. And yet, the issue of deciding when to challenge and when to defer is one that each one of us — no matter where we fall on the confrontation spectrum — faces regularly.

So how can we decide? Which circumstances are right for getting in someone’s face, even if it is uncomfortable to do so? When is it better to back down? And how might you overcome your natural inclination when you decide you should, whether it be to be more or less confrontational than is natural?

Related questions: Avoidance or confrontation? How do you stand up to a bully? How can we build confidence? What gives a person value?

How Do You Make Something A Habit?

The more we understand how a habit works, the more likely it is that we will be able to make — or break — habits in our everyday lives.

Everyone is familiar with habits of some kind.

Perhaps you have a bad habit you would like to break. Or you aspire to create one that you hope will improve your life. Alternately, you may already have a routine that you follow every day.

But how do these habits originate?

Most of us are likely familiar with the desire for improvement. For instance, suppose you get a gym membership in January, as part of a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and get in better shape.

Many people in this scenario have every intention to work out regularly, perhaps even several times a week. There is no guarantee, however, that the desire will turn into an actual habit. Wanting to go to the gym and actually going are two different things.

So how does something go from an aspiration to an actual, consistent routine?

Sometimes willpower is sufficient. If you just want something badly enough, you can power your way through to making it happen. However, willpower is not consistent from person to person. For the same person, it can even vary from situation to situation or from day to day.

When willpower is not enough, what can we do to turn our hopes into concrete actions? What steps can we take in order to create a habit?

Related questions: What unusual habit do you have? What is one thing you feel the need to do every day? Are routines boring? How do you stick to your resolutions? How do you reward yourself?

When Do You Feel Powerful?

Within us, we all have power: the power to think, speak, act, question, and more. We don’t, however, always recognize how powerful we are.

We all want power of some sort. You may not necessarily think of it as power, but we want a better life for ourselves and our loved ones. That might include getting an education, so we know more about how the world works. We might strive for a high-paying job so we can afford a house and other things. Or we find a partner and start a family.

All these are normal life activities, but they are also ways to increase how powerful we are. We use our knowledge, our money, and our connections to our benefit.

One of the key aspects of having power is being able to apply it when and where it will do the most good. And to do that, you have to recognize your own abilities, and to feel comfortable using them.

Think about experiences you have had, and in particular try to recall when you have felt the most in control of a situation.What was happening at that moment, and why did you feel powerful? Are there any sorts of common threads to making your voice heard, or getting your point across?

There are bound to be times when you feel powerless. However, that’s never true. There is always something you can do, some action you can take. In order to most effectively tap into your own strength, it helps to recognize it.

When have you felt the most powerful? Can you recreate that feeling, even if the circumstances are different?

Related questions: Who has power? How much power does an individual have? What can you control? How can we build confidence?