Category: Confrontation

What Is Too Much To Accept?

Sometimes, events reach a breaking point when you simply cannot stand what is happening. What is too much to accept?

For some people, change is uncomfortable. As a result, there are many people who like the status quo. They prefer things stay the way they currently are.

Of course, the world is constantly in flux. Things change all the time. However, in order to preserve the status quo, you must be able to deal with that change.

As a result, there are people who can ignore, minimize, or otherwise accept the new conditions. Often, the introduced changes are small in nature, which makes it relatively easy to adapt to them.

These small changes, though, add up over time. Eventually, the sum total becomes cumulatively so large that these techniques used to adapt start to break down. The new situation is too much to deal with.

For example, let’s imagine you have a job. You like most things about the job — the hours, the coworkers, the commute, the pay. There might be a few things that frustrate you, but you can deal with them.

Over time, though, things change. You don’t get a raise due to company cutbacks. Your closest friends leave for other jobs. You get a new boss who expects you to put in more hours. The office relocates even further away.

You can deal with any one of these things. But over time, they add up. At some point, it gets to b too much, and you decide to start looking for a different job.

How do you make that decision? When will you know that you are no longer able to justify what is happening, and you need the status quo to change. And what lengths will you go to in order to make that happen?

Related questions: What is necessary to change your mind? When have you had a sudden change of viewpoint? What makes change possible? How do you set priorities?

When Is Confrontation Preferable?

Confrontation can be awkward for some. In some cases, however, it just might be the preferable course of action. But which cases?

Some people are just naturally non-confrontational. Perhaps it is how they were raised, or maybe it’s just a personality trait. Whatever the reason, there is some subset of the populace that doesn’t feel comfortable confronting others. Even if they deserve it.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are aggressive people for whom confrontation is not an issue. As a default, they might challenge just about anyone they meet, for the slightest — or even no — reason.

Chances are, you lie somewhere between these two extremes. And yet, the issue of deciding when to challenge and when to defer is one that each one of us — no matter where we fall on the confrontation spectrum — faces regularly.

So how can we decide? Which circumstances are right for getting in someone’s face, even if it is uncomfortable to do so? When is it better to back down? And how might you overcome your natural inclination when you decide you should, whether it be to be more or less confrontational than is natural?

Related questions: Avoidance or confrontation? How do you stand up to a bully? How can we build confidence? What gives a person value?

Laugh Or Cry?

When you are faced with challenges, obstacles, or setbacks, which are you more likely to do: laugh or cry?

Share why if you wish.

Laugh Or Cry?
Results

How Do You Deal With Someone With Whom You Don’t Get Along?

It has happened to all of us: you are stuck with someone with whom you don’t get along. Maybe seated across the table at a Thanksgiving dinner. Or someone dating your best friend. Or a member of a work team that your boss assigned. What can you do?

While it seems inevitable that there will be people with whom you don’t get along, it is also true that often you have no choice in the matter. For example, you can’t get someone fired from a job just because you have a personality clash.

Moreover, you shouldn’t. It is a good exercise in self control to work, or to be social, with someone different than you. Even if it is someone who gets under your skin.

Of course, that is easier said than done. While we have advanced brains and are justifiably proud of our reasoning and logic, we are still animals. If we encounter an irritant, our instinct is to brush it away. If something, or someone, is a problem, we might try to fix the problem, or distance ourselves from it.

But that is not always an option. In many cases, no one needs to be “fixed”. They are thoughtful, productive, useful people, who just aren’t a good fit for you.

So what can you do? When you inevitably encounter someone like this, what will happen? How can you make your interactions, if not enjoyable, at least tolerable? You can’t control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react to it. What will your reaction be?

How do you deal with someone with whom you don’t get along?

Related questions: How can we become better listeners? What gives a person value? What is uncomfortable but rewarding? How can we encourage meaningful conversation?

Is There Something You Do That Others Would Consider Harmful?

It is no secret that different people often have conflicting opinions. What one person might consider the right course of action, another might think wrong, or even harmful.

With that in mind, are there actions you have taken that others have disagreed with? Disagreed with so strongly, in fact, that a friend or a family member considered what you were doing to be dangerous?

Harmful, in this context, can mean many things.

One possibility is to be harmful to yourself. If you do something that puts your life, or some part of it, at risk, that might be considered harmful to you. This might include doing something that puts your job or your livelihood at risk. It might also mean risking physical harm, as well.

A second possibility is to risk the relationships or the even the lives of people around you. For example, someone might consider you a bad parent if you permit your child to participate in risky behavior (even if it is done in a controlled way).

Yet another type of harmful behavior might include something potentially damaging to the environment. This might include something as simple as not recycling, or something like driving an older, polluting car.

Naturally, differences of opinion may very well be at the heart of some of disagreements. Someone might believe eating meat is harmful (it’s certainly harmful to the animals being eaten), but someone else might simply view that as part of natural life: animals eat other animals.

Is there any behavior you have participated in that someone else considered harmful? Did you come to regret your actions, or do you feel they were justified? Or some of both?

Related questions: What do you do that you shouldn’t? How do you judge yourself? What beliefs do you have that might be wrong? When should you criticize someone?