Category: Conversation

What Makes A Meaningful Conversation?

A thoughtful, meaningful conversation is remarkably fulfilling. What are the traits that contribute to a great verbal exchange?

In some ways, we evolved in order to communicate. Our voice is capable of an incredible range of sounds that we have turned into speech. Our brains then became larger so that we could store our spoken, and then eventually written, languages.

In addition, living in groups no doubt made our ancestors safer and more effective in tasks. Coordinating members of the group would have been necessary for success in hunting and gathering. A spoken language also meant knowledge could be passed not only between individuals, but from generation to generation as well.

So speech is central to the very nature of who we are as a species. It is no wonder, then, why conversation is so enjoyable. A good conversation between individuals or within a group is unlike anything else in our experience. It can be funny, thought-provoking, and even challenging, and can make time seem to fly by in an instant.

In fact, it is so important that you sometimes hear it discussed in ways you don’t expect. An artist, for instance, might describe the art they produce as a conversation with the viewer. Theater actors or comedians have been known to talk about carrying on a conversation with their audience.

What makes a conversation good? And what separates a good one from a great one? What are the things that the very best conversationalists do to be successful? How does it seem to flow, seemingly effortlessly, from one speaker to the next? What do you do to try and engage with someone else?

Related questions: How can we encourage meaningful conversation? Is there a conversation you’ll never forget? How can we become better listeners? What makes a good question?

Is There A Conversation You’ll Never Forget?

Have you ever participated in a conversation that immediately seared itself into your memory? Has a talk you’ve had ever been that impactful?

Conversation is the primary way we humans communicate with each other. While some conversations may be routine or trivial, others can be profound or even life-changing.

For instance, think of the discussions you have had while falling in love. That might eventually lead to making room for someone else in your life. It might even result in marriage and possibly starting a family. While there are other ways to express love, talking is something we all engage in all the time.

Can you think of conversations that you have had that have stayed with you long after? Have you had discussions that have changed your life? What, if anything, can you identify as a commonality in these meaningful interactions?

Related questions: How can we encourage meaningful conversation? What makes something memorable? Where do shared ideas exist? How can we maintain wonder? How can we become better listeners?

Do You Pray?

For some, prayer is almost a second language. For others, to pray might be inconceivable. Where do you stand? Do you pray?

It might seem at first that prayer is reserved for the religious. For those who believe in a deity, it is only natural to offer up a thought, or wish, to that higher power.

However, anyone can pray. Even if you are not a member of an organized religion, you might still believe in something larger than yourself. Even an atheist might see the value in putting out good vibes to the universe in some sort of structured way.

Of course, different people view prayer differently. For some, the way that many approach prayer — asking for material wealth or good fortune for you or a loved one — seems downright silly. Even if there is someone listening, why would they care if your favorite sports team beats it’s cross-town rival? Why should your plea for a better job, newer car, or winning the lottery matter?

So a secondary question might be: How do you pray? Is it asking for favor for yourself and misfortune for those you don’t like? Is it an attempt at a conversation with someone that isn’t there? How about an attempt to understand the world and your place in it? Would you consider that praying?

What does prayer mean to you? Do you practice it, and if so, how?

Related questions: Are science and religion compatible? What does spirituality mean to you? What do you believe?

Is Personal Interaction A Vanishing Practice?

As our technology has gotten more advanced, in many ways we are using it to replace human interaction. What is it costing us?

Under the right circumstances, you could go for days, or possibly even weeks, without being in the same room with someone else. After all, you can order your groceries online and have them delivered to you. Many jobs can be done remotely. Just about anything you need can be purchased through the internet.

Even if you decide to leave your house, interaction can be kept to a minimum. You can avoid any awkward chit chat with grocery store employees by opting for the self-checkout line. Wearing headphones or ear buds ensures people will not talk to you.

We’ve even, as a society, decided that a voice-to-voice phone call is too much. Civilized people text instead.

Even sex is being configured to take place alone. Porn is available to anyone at any time, and now we even have remarkably realistic sex dolls or robots.

The reason for our self-imposed isolation is fairly obvious: interacting is hard! And it can be awkward at times. Everyone has their own preferences. Some people like to talk about anything and everything; others are quiet. One person might be a hugger, while another doesn’t even like to shake hands. Maybe you don’t know what to say most of the time.

As more and more our lives are spent minimizing the time spent with others, are we getting out of the practice of making small talk? Is it harder to bond with someone now, compared to a decade ago? Is personal interaction a vanishing practice? How can we engage more with others?

Related questions: What are our responsibilities to others? How can we encourage meaningful conversation? Do you feel lonely? What role does community play in your life?

How Do You Deal With Someone With Whom You Don’t Get Along?

It has happened to all of us: you are stuck with someone with whom you don’t get along. Maybe seated across the table at a Thanksgiving dinner. Or someone dating your best friend. Or a member of a work team that your boss assigned. What can you do?

While it seems inevitable that there will be people with whom you don’t get along, it is also true that often you have no choice in the matter. For example, you can’t get someone fired from a job just because you have a personality clash.

Moreover, you shouldn’t. It is a good exercise in self control to work, or to be social, with someone different than you. Even if it is someone who gets under your skin.

Of course, that is easier said than done. While we have advanced brains and are justifiably proud of our reasoning and logic, we are still animals. If we encounter an irritant, our instinct is to brush it away. If something, or someone, is a problem, we might try to fix the problem, or distance ourselves from it.

But that is not always an option. In many cases, no one needs to be “fixed”. They are thoughtful, productive, useful people, who just aren’t a good fit for you.

So what can you do? When you inevitably encounter someone like this, what will happen? How can you make your interactions, if not enjoyable, at least tolerable? You can’t control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react to it. What will your reaction be?

How do you deal with someone with whom you don’t get along?

Related questions: How can we become better listeners? What gives a person value? What is uncomfortable but rewarding? How can we encourage meaningful conversation?