Category: Introspection

How Do You Deal With Situations Beyond Your Control?

There will always be some things in life that are beyond your control. When that happens, how do you deal with it?

Knowing the difference between things you can control and things you can’t is an important task. One of the most important, in fact. And yet, even if you successfully determine which things are controllable, some things will always elude you.

For example, no matter how hard you try, you can’t change the weather. Some days will be sunny; others rainy. If you live far enough north (or south) there will be snow and ice at some point.

Of course, while it is not possible to manipulate the weather, it is possible to do something about it. You can follow forecasts closely, and dress appropriately for the type of weather predicted. Then you won’t be caught without your umbrella, or sunglasses, or heavy jacket.

What are some other examples of phenomena that are beyond your control? And for those examples, what can you do to lessen the disruption that might occur?

Or maybe you believe that there is nothing that we can’t control if we just try hard (or smart) enough. To use our earlier example, there are plenty of historical examples of rain dances, praying to your god or gods for rain, or planes seeding clouds with crystals. We certainly have evidence of human behavior impacting the planet’s climate.

So how do you deal? Hope for the best but prepare for the worst? Ignore it and hope it goes away? Learn everything you can and try to make change, even when it seems impossible or unlikely?

Related questions: What can you control? How do you deal with uncertainty? What should you let go of? How is climate change impacting you?

When Is Confrontation Preferable?

Confrontation can be awkward for some. In some cases, however, it just might be the preferable course of action. But which cases?

Some people are just naturally non-confrontational. Perhaps it is how they were raised, or maybe it’s just a personality trait. Whatever the reason, there is some subset of the populace that doesn’t feel comfortable confronting others. Even if they deserve it.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are aggressive people for whom confrontation is not an issue. As a default, they might challenge just about anyone they meet, for the slightest — or even no — reason.

Chances are, you lie somewhere between these two extremes. And yet, the issue of deciding when to challenge and when to defer is one that each one of us — no matter where we fall on the confrontation spectrum — faces regularly.

So how can we decide? Which circumstances are right for getting in someone’s face, even if it is uncomfortable to do so? When is it better to back down? And how might you overcome your natural inclination when you decide you should, whether it be to be more or less confrontational than is natural?

Related questions: Avoidance or confrontation? How do you stand up to a bully? How can we build confidence? What gives a person value?

Is Your Sense Of Self Tied To Your Job?

For some people, their choice of occupation is crucial to their identity. This is not surprising, since the average person spends around a third of their life at a job.

In some ways, it makes sense that a job is so important. After all, anything you spend so much time doing is automatically important. With the possible exception of your immediate family, your co-workers may very well be the people you spend the most time with.

Moreover, you might be talking about your job often.

If you meet a stranger, one of the first questions you ask each other might be, “What do you do?” The answer helps the two of you determine how much you have in common and might influence your subsequent conversation.

Similarly, respective jobs are frequently the topic of conversation among spouses or romantic partners. After all, if you care for someone, you want to know how they spend their time, and how other people might treat them.

So a job is important. But is it healthy to base your identity on it?

After all, different people have different reasons for working. Some might work just to pay their mortgage, while others might be trying to make the world a better place. As the saying goes: some work to live; others live to work. Are both types of people defined by the job they do?

And if you lose that job, through no fault of your own, do you cease to have an identity in much the same way that you might lose your health insurance?

In your case, does your job impact your sense of self? If so, should it?

Related questions: Who are you? What do you like most about your job? What are ways to achieve work-life balance? How does your personal life influence your work life?

Wallflower Or Life Of The Party?

When you are at a social gathering, do you tend to be a wallflower, or are you more likely to be the life of the party?

Share why if you wish.

Wallflower Or Life Of The Party?
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When Does Something Become An Unhealthy Obsession?

We all have interests. Sometimes, however, an interest can become an obsession that can endanger our mental and emotional well-being.

Obsessive behavior is all too common in our society, from eating disorders to gambling addiction to OCD. There are times we cannot stop our thoughts from damaging our relationships and our very lives.

And yet, obsessions don’t start out as obsessions. They start out as simple interests, the kinds we all have, very naturally, throughout our lives. At some point, however, an interest may undergo a transformation into an unhealthy behavior. We may not be in control of our thoughts, or of our reactions to those thoughts.

How does this change happen? How can you tell if such a thing has happened to you? And if you do manage to recognize it, is there anything you can do to modify your behavior or to lessen the impact on you?

What role does our society play in reinforcing obsessive behavior? And what can we do to proactively reduce the likelihood of an interest become an obsession? Finally, have you every had obsessive thoughts, and if so, what did you do about it?

Related questions: Could everyone benefit from therapy? How does technology influence your emotions? What should you let go of? How are your body and mind intertwined? How do you find peace when you need it?