Category: Friendship

How Important Is Family?

Many of our holiday traditions are centered around family. But just how important are the people related to us, and how do they impact our lives?

If pop culture is to be believed, family is all important. Gathering together, exchanging gifts, eating a festive meal — that’s the image we have of the season. There are numerous songs, movies, and TV shows that make this point. Businesses even try and draw that comparison: “When you are here, you are family.”

But is that true? Of course, it is important to be supported and to be loved. That support and love, however, could just as easily come from friends or neighbors as from people who are genetically related.

In fact, who you are related to is somewhat random. Parents know that their kids can be wildly different from one another. One might be athletic, another studious and uncoordinated. One loud and outgoing, another quiet and shy. There is no guarantee that you will share traits or interests with someone who happens to be a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt or uncle.

It is difficult to deny, however, the role that our relatives play in our lives.  Our parents provide guidance and support. Siblings are often drawn close from the shared formative experiences they have.

Is that simply a remnant of our evolutionary development? Humans evolved as hunter gatherers, where a tightly-woven clan probably increased the odds of survival. Of course, what was true for our ancestors may also be true for us.

As you maybe visiting some right now or in the past week or two, ask yourself: How important is family?

Related questions: Why do we feel the need to belong? How have your parents influenced you? What does the holiday mean to you? Is your pet part of your family?

Who Has Been Your Friend The Longest?

Of all your non-family friends, which one have you had the longest? Are you still in touch with friends from high school? Elementary school? Earlier?

Share why if you wish.

Do You Feel Heard?

Everyone likes to feel that others are sincerely listening to their ideas, fears, and concerns. Do you feel heard?

It is all too easy to imagine that you are invisible. At work, your boss might be oblivious to your ideas. At home, your partner is focused on their own needs. Friends don’t return calls or texts. You have so much to say, but it seems that no one is listening.

That feeling can be demoralizing. Why continue to make an effort if no one notices?

To avoid feeling this way, it is important that we feel heard. Whether it is in the office, at home, or from our elected leaders, having someone acknowledge you can make all the difference.

Of course, no one can have every idea be meaningful or important. There are, after all, other people, with their own motivations and thoughts and ideas. But having someone listen, really listen to you, can make you feel better even if nothing else results from it.

Are there areas of your life where you feel heard? Did you do anything to make that happen? Alternately, do you ever feel ignored or trivialized by someone important to you? How can you respond in a productive way?

Related questions: Who hears your voice? What is your voice? How can we become better listeners? 

What Does Your Pet Think Of You?

We know so little about our own consciousness, let alone that of animals. Which leads to the question: what does your pet think of you?

Animals in general, and pets in particular, clearly have some level of thought. They can learn some basic tricks, and many of them respond to their name. They exhibit feelings, at times being happy, or sad, or angry.

Some pets have even learned a rudimentary way of talking. By programming a number of buttons that say a particular word when pressed, the owner of a dog or a cat can teach the pet to press a button to “say” words like “food”, “walk”, “play”, and many others.

Of course, this may be a combination of rewards training, randomness, and anthropomorphizing. It is difficult to say for certain, since we don’t really know what pets think or feel.

Still, humans that have pets can discern patterns in behavior. A cat owner may notice the cat being able to tell when dinner time is approaching. Or a dog might associate the picking up of a leash with going out for a walk.

It is fun to speculate how exactly our pets see us. Do they see us as just an odd-looking member of their species? Is the owner seen as a parent, or are they seen as a juvenile who needs protection and feeding? (People who keep cats, for example, may be familiar with being “gifted” with a dead mouse or bird.) Or perhaps they understand the concept of different species?

If you have a pet, or know someone who does, have you ever wondered what goes on in the mind of that pet? What do they think of us?

Related questions: What is your relationship with your pet? How does your pet bring you joy? Is your pet part of your family? Cats or dogs?

How Has Remote Work Impacted Your Friendships?

With remote work gaining popularity due to the pandemic, some employers are worried about weakening relationships between employees. But could it be impacting friendships?

For many adults, the workplace is one of the only places to consistently meet new people. Some coworkers may become friendly, and might even go so far as to socialize together outside of the office. Many deep, meaningful friendships have started in the halls at work.

Remote work threatens to change that. If you only interact with people over an online chat or in a group conference call, there are fewer opportunities to develop relationships.

Employers fear that may lead to a lack of cohesion in work-based teams. That may be the case, but it may also lead to shallow, superficial interpersonal relationships that never have the chance to grow into something deeper.

Studies have shown that the number of people — particularly men — suffering from loneliness and depression is on the rise. If one of the few opportunities for making friends is reduced or even removed, what might that mean for this data?

Of course, this concern may be overblown. People can make real, strong connections with people they mostly interact with online. It is also true that a workplace may not be the best place to look for friendships.

What do you think? Is working remotely leading to weaker connections between people, and possibly fewer friendships? Or should that be irrelevant to making friends?

Related questions: How does your personal life influence your work life? How has remote work changed your workplace culture? What makes a friendship? How do you make friends as an adult?