Category: Self

Is Your Sense Of Self Tied To Your Job?

For some people, their choice of occupation is crucial to their identity. This is not surprising, since the average person spends around a third of their life at a job.

In some ways, it makes sense that a job is so important. After all, anything you spend so much time doing is automatically important. With the possible exception of your immediate family, your co-workers may very well be the people you spend the most time with.

Moreover, you might be talking about your job often.

If you meet a stranger, one of the first questions you ask each other might be, “What do you do?” The answer helps the two of you determine how much you have in common and might influence your subsequent conversation.

Similarly, respective jobs are frequently the topic of conversation among spouses or romantic partners. After all, if you care for someone, you want to know how they spend their time, and how other people might treat them.

So a job is important. But is it healthy to base your identity on it?

After all, different people have different reasons for working. Some might work just to pay their mortgage, while others might be trying to make the world a better place. As the saying goes: some work to live; others live to work. Are both types of people defined by the job they do?

And if you lose that job, through no fault of your own, do you cease to have an identity in much the same way that you might lose your health insurance?

In your case, does your job impact your sense of self? If so, should it?

Related questions: Who are you? What do you like most about your job? What are ways to achieve work-life balance? How does your personal life influence your work life?

What Change To Your Identity Have You Had To Accept?

Establishing an identity can be hard. Updating that identity can be even harder, if it means changing the way you think of yourself.

A useful exercise in self-awareness is determining who you are. That might include your values, interests, and aspirations. Once you determine who you are and who you want to become, that knowledge can help guide your actions. It can shape how you see yourself, and how you talk about yourself. As a result, that can influence how others see you.

Sometimes, though, the identity that you use to help how you think of yourself has to change. There might be several different reasons for this change — perhaps you have just evolved as a person. Or maybe health problems limit how you live your life. Cultural changes, a new job, or a personal realization can all be catalysts for change.

If your identity is equivalent to your own self, then a change to that identity might well mean that you are no longer the person you used to be. This can be difficult to accept. For all that we change over time, it is natural to think of yourself as constant and unchanging. The rest of the world might change, but not you.

As you have aged and matured, how has your personal identity changed? Has that, in turn, led to an update in how you see yourself? Have you had to accept a personal change that was a surprise or that was in some way unwelcome?

Related questions: Who are you? How have you changed? What are your values? How do you demonstrate your values?

How Are You Holding Up?

As so many things are in flux, and uncertainty seems to be everywhere you look, how are you holding up?

It is safe to say that the last month has been a busy one. Regardless of how you feel about the changes that are happening, change, by itself, can be very difficult.

In general, we have a preference for the status quo. We understand it, even if we see the flaws and wish things were better. Managing a known, imperfect system, for many of us, is better than introducing changes that might well make things worse (even if they could make things better).

We crave stability. So much so, that many of us devote much of our lives to creating a stable world.

Of course, that stability is an illusion. At any time, your house might burn down, and you could lose everything you own. Your life could be turned upside down with an unfortunate medical diagnosis. An accident can happen to anyone, regardless of age or general health.

In such extreme circumstances, it is important to monitor your own well-being. Knowing when you need a break, or support from loved ones, or an inspirational speech, is important.

With that in mind, here’s the question: How are you holding up? Are you in denial, engaged as never before, or hiding in bed under your covers? What is your mental state in these unusual times?

Related questions: How do you deal with major life changes? How do you perform self-care? Are we too busy? How are we doing?

What Lesson Have You Had To Learn Again And Again?

Sometimes it takes repeated exposure to a life lesson to learn it. Is there a lesson you need to learn again and again?

There are some experiences that are so powerful, a single one is enough to internalize the lesson. The classic example is that once you burn yourself on a hot stove, you won’t do it a second time. The pain is enough to fix the memory in your mind.

However, that is not always the case. Sometimes, you need to learn the lesson over and over again.

One reason this might be true is changing circumstances. If you learned something early, for instance, it might then take you multiple exposures to relearn the lesson if things change.

For example, let’s say you decide as a child that you don’t like bananas. As an adult, however, you happen to try a banana, and, if your taste buds have changed, you might like it. But you might not immediately start eating bananas regularly, as you still think of yourself as someone who doesn’t like bananas.

There may also be things about yourself that you just don’t want to face. If some experience shines a light on an aspect of your personality that you are ashamed of, you may not absorb it right away.

Or there are just things that one, two, or even three exposures is not enough to set in your memory. While some data or trains of thought that are very natural, there could also be some that don’t match the way you think.

For whatever reason, some lessons are harder to learn than others. Is there something that you had to learn — perhaps the hard way — over and over?

Related questions: What basic skill have you never learned? What do you wish you had learned as a child? How do you learn?