Category: Mental Health

Is Your Sense Of Self Tied To Your Job?

For some people, their choice of occupation is crucial to their identity. This is not surprising, since the average person spends around a third of their life at a job.

In some ways, it makes sense that a job is so important. After all, anything you spend so much time doing is automatically important. With the possible exception of your immediate family, your co-workers may very well be the people you spend the most time with.

Moreover, you might be talking about your job often.

If you meet a stranger, one of the first questions you ask each other might be, “What do you do?” The answer helps the two of you determine how much you have in common and might influence your subsequent conversation.

Similarly, respective jobs are frequently the topic of conversation among spouses or romantic partners. After all, if you care for someone, you want to know how they spend their time, and how other people might treat them.

So a job is important. But is it healthy to base your identity on it?

After all, different people have different reasons for working. Some might work just to pay their mortgage, while others might be trying to make the world a better place. As the saying goes: some work to live; others live to work. Are both types of people defined by the job they do?

And if you lose that job, through no fault of your own, do you cease to have an identity in much the same way that you might lose your health insurance?

In your case, does your job impact your sense of self? If so, should it?

Related questions: Who are you? What do you like most about your job? What are ways to achieve work-life balance? How does your personal life influence your work life?

When Does Something Become An Unhealthy Obsession?

We all have interests. Sometimes, however, an interest can become an obsession that can endanger our mental and emotional well-being.

Obsessive behavior is all too common in our society, from eating disorders to gambling addiction to OCD. There are times we cannot stop our thoughts from damaging our relationships and our very lives.

And yet, obsessions don’t start out as obsessions. They start out as simple interests, the kinds we all have, very naturally, throughout our lives. At some point, however, an interest may undergo a transformation into an unhealthy behavior. We may not be in control of our thoughts, or of our reactions to those thoughts.

How does this change happen? How can you tell if such a thing has happened to you? And if you do manage to recognize it, is there anything you can do to modify your behavior or to lessen the impact on you?

What role does our society play in reinforcing obsessive behavior? And what can we do to proactively reduce the likelihood of an interest become an obsession? Finally, have you every had obsessive thoughts, and if so, what did you do about it?

Related questions: Could everyone benefit from therapy? How does technology influence your emotions? What should you let go of? How are your body and mind intertwined? How do you find peace when you need it?

What Should We Be Paying Attention To?

Sometimes it seems like there is too much news for our limited attention span. When that happens, which stories should we focus on?

On the international stage, there are many ongoing stories that would seem to deserve our attention. There are two significant wars that threaten to turn into world engulfing conflicts, in Asia and in the Middle East.

In addition, there is the ongoing climate crisis. As global temperatures continue to rise, weather events grow stronger and more frequent. More people are displaced from their homes than in any other time in human history.

Domestically in the United States, there are also too many stories to try to follow. Which is more important, ignoring due process or blatant political corruption? Announced tariffs threatening a global trade war or unmarked police forces kidnapping people? Threats to judges and law firms or people around the world going hungry or getting sick because of cancelled contracts and staffing shortages? People suffering from natural disasters being ignored or a significant uptick in airplane accidents threatening flying safety?

The current administration is employing a tactic called “flooding the zone.” This means pursuing multiple actions in a short period of time, so that media, courts, and the public attention span all have trouble keeping up. It is a deliberate strategy designed to sow confusion and apathy.

So what to do? When there are multiple balls being thrown at the same time, how do we decide which one to swing at? What should we be paying attention to?

Related questions: What deserves your attention? Should we pay attention to the news? How do you set priorities? What unimportant things do you focus on too much?

How Are You Holding Up?

As so many things are in flux, and uncertainty seems to be everywhere you look, how are you holding up?

It is safe to say that the last month has been a busy one. Regardless of how you feel about the changes that are happening, change, by itself, can be very difficult.

In general, we have a preference for the status quo. We understand it, even if we see the flaws and wish things were better. Managing a known, imperfect system, for many of us, is better than introducing changes that might well make things worse (even if they could make things better).

We crave stability. So much so, that many of us devote much of our lives to creating a stable world.

Of course, that stability is an illusion. At any time, your house might burn down, and you could lose everything you own. Your life could be turned upside down with an unfortunate medical diagnosis. An accident can happen to anyone, regardless of age or general health.

In such extreme circumstances, it is important to monitor your own well-being. Knowing when you need a break, or support from loved ones, or an inspirational speech, is important.

With that in mind, here’s the question: How are you holding up? Are you in denial, engaged as never before, or hiding in bed under your covers? What is your mental state in these unusual times?

Related questions: How do you deal with major life changes? How do you perform self-care? Are we too busy? How are we doing?

What Brought You The Most Enjoyment This Year?

As the year comes to a close, it is common to look back at the high points. What brought you the most enjoyment this year?

This last year (like any year) had some difficult moments. Ongoing wars, complete with atrocities, were hard to watch, yet equally difficult to look away from. The presidential election seemed to drag on forever. Natural disasters happened with alarming regularity. And so on.

When so many negative things happen, it can be tempting to focus solely on them. It was a bad year, you might say, because so many bad things happened.

However, that approach is short-sighted. While it is true that many bad things occurred, it is also true that many good things happened as well. Over the course of an entire year, it has to be the case that many things, good and bad, are bound to happen.

And remembering the good things is important! Even if — and maybe especially if — more bad things than good happen, it is necessary to remind yourself that there is good in the world.

Next year will be filled with both good and bad things, too. It very well may be the case that there will be more bad than good then, as well. In order to withstand an onslaught of bad news, a positive outlook, filled with hope, is essential. An excellent way to get a positive outlook is to think back on all the good things that happened.

With that in mind, what are your personal high points? What were our collective high points? What brought you the most enjoyment this year?

Related questions: Are you worried about the coming year? What news from the last year made you optimistic? Why don’t you know what makes you happy? Optimistic or pessimistic?