Category: Relationship

Is Personal Interaction A Vanishing Practice?

As our technology has gotten more advanced, in many ways we are using it to replace human interaction. What is it costing us?

Under the right circumstances, you could go for days, or possibly even weeks, without being in the same room with someone else. After all, you can order your groceries online and have them delivered to you. Many jobs can be done remotely. Just about anything you need can be purchased through the internet.

Even if you decide to leave your house, interaction can be kept to a minimum. You can avoid any awkward chit chat with grocery store employees by opting for the self-checkout line. Wearing headphones or ear buds ensures people will not talk to you.

We’ve even, as a society, decided that a voice-to-voice phone call is too much. Civilized people text instead.

Even sex is being configured to take place alone. Porn is available to anyone at any time, and now we even have remarkably realistic sex dolls or robots.

The reason for our self-imposed isolation is fairly obvious: interacting is hard! And it can be awkward at times. Everyone has their own preferences. Some people like to talk about anything and everything; others are quiet. One person might be a hugger, while another doesn’t even like to shake hands. Maybe you don’t know what to say most of the time.

As more and more our lives are spent minimizing the time spent with others, are we getting out of the practice of making small talk? Is it harder to bond with someone now, compared to a decade ago? Is personal interaction a vanishing practice? How can we engage more with others?

Related questions: What are our responsibilities to others? How can we encourage meaningful conversation? Do you feel lonely? What role does community play in your life?

How Do You Deal With Someone With Whom You Don’t Get Along?

It has happened to all of us: you are stuck with someone with whom you don’t get along. Maybe seated across the table at a Thanksgiving dinner. Or someone dating your best friend. Or a member of a work team that your boss assigned. What can you do?

While it seems inevitable that there will be people with whom you don’t get along, it is also true that often you have no choice in the matter. For example, you can’t get someone fired from a job just because you have a personality clash.

Moreover, you shouldn’t. It is a good exercise in self control to work, or to be social, with someone different than you. Even if it is someone who gets under your skin.

Of course, that is easier said than done. While we have advanced brains and are justifiably proud of our reasoning and logic, we are still animals. If we encounter an irritant, our instinct is to brush it away. If something, or someone, is a problem, we might try to fix the problem, or distance ourselves from it.

But that is not always an option. In many cases, no one needs to be “fixed”. They are thoughtful, productive, useful people, who just aren’t a good fit for you.

So what can you do? When you inevitably encounter someone like this, what will happen? How can you make your interactions, if not enjoyable, at least tolerable? You can’t control how someone else behaves, but you can control how you react to it. What will your reaction be?

How do you deal with someone with whom you don’t get along?

Related questions: How can we become better listeners? What gives a person value? What is uncomfortable but rewarding? How can we encourage meaningful conversation?

How Has Remote Work Impacted Your Friendships?

With remote work gaining popularity due to the pandemic, some employers are worried about weakening relationships between employees. But could it be impacting friendships?

For many adults, the workplace is one of the only places to consistently meet new people. Some coworkers may become friendly, and might even go so far as to socialize together outside of the office. Many deep, meaningful friendships have started in the halls at work.

Remote work threatens to change that. If you only interact with people over an online chat or in a group conference call, there are fewer opportunities to develop relationships.

Employers fear that may lead to a lack of cohesion in work-based teams. That may be the case, but it may also lead to shallow, superficial interpersonal relationships that never have the chance to grow into something deeper.

Studies have shown that the number of people — particularly men — suffering from loneliness and depression is on the rise. If one of the few opportunities for making friends is reduced or even removed, what might that mean for this data?

Of course, this concern may be overblown. People can make real, strong connections with people they mostly interact with online. It is also true that a workplace may not be the best place to look for friendships.

What do you think? Is working remotely leading to weaker connections between people, and possibly fewer friendships? Or should that be irrelevant to making friends?

Related questions: How does your personal life influence your work life? How has remote work changed your workplace culture? What makes a friendship? How do you make friends as an adult?

How Have Your Parents Influenced You?

The parent-child relationship is an important one for most people. Can you think of ways you have been influenced by your parents?

The first relationship that we have is with our mother, followed shortly by our father. For most people, they remain of primary importance throughout our development and into adolescence.

Because of this, the relationship we have with our parents helps to define who we are, what we believe, and often how we think and what we like.

Related: Listen to an episode of the Intellectual Roundtable Podcast, where Lee and Michael discuss this question: ‘What makes you you?’ We also discuss another question as well, ‘What gives a person value?’

Of course, that fact might also lead to problems. There is a reason that many therapy sessions deal with understanding the way we were treated growing up, and how it might impact our behavior as adults. Additionally, many people end up with romantic partners that have behaviors similar to a parent.

Some people have a complicated relationship with their mother and/or their father. Even if you don’t, you can probably trace some of your likes and dislikes, as well as some of your beliefs, to one or both of your parents.

How have your parents influenced you?

Related questions: How are you just like your parents? Why do we like what we like? What makes you you? What is your favorite childhood memory?

Do You Follow The Golden Rule?

The Golden Rule — treat others as you wish to be treated — is a sentiment common in cultures and religions across the world. Do you follow it?

The idea is a simple one, easily stated, and easily understood. And yet, it can be very difficult to practice.

There are many reasons why you might not follow the Golden Rule. They might vary from self-interest, fear, or even kindness.

For instance, you might well think that you want someone to come to your aid if you are in trouble. However, fear might prevent you from helping someone else in a dangerous situation.

In another situation, you might tell a small lie to spare the feelings of someone you love, even if you think you would want the truth in return.

Related: Listen to an episode of the Intellectual Roundtable Podcast, where Lee and Michael discuss this question: ‘What are our responsibilities to others?’ We also discuss another question as well, ‘Are we too busy?’

In our state and national politics, we see the Golden Rule violated frequently. One elected official, for example, may vote against offering aid to another state in a disaster, and yet accepts the helping hand when the disaster befalls them. No doubt you can think of numerous other examples.

There are endless opportunities to treat others the way you wish to be treated. In fact, just about every interaction with someone else is such a chance. It might be face-to-face, online, or from hundreds or thousands of miles away. It might include actions, speech, or even thoughts about someone else.

Can you think of notable examples where you followed the Golden Rule? Are there times when you didn’t?

Related questions: How do you serve others? What expectations do you have of others? How do other people motivate you? Why does social media often bring out the worst in us? Why do we hate?