Category: Individual

How Do We Show People They Matter?

It is all too easy to think that what you do in life doesn’t really matter. After all, when you are just one person out of 8 billion, that seems pretty insignificant.

Moreover, the picture gets even more narrow if we expand the scope. Reading history, there are only a few people who have shaped the course of human history. Of all the people who have ever lived, we only know the names of a precious few. Those few have led armies, made breakthroughs, or influenced millions.

But the vast majority of people just live their lives. They are content making their small contribution to the greater whole. But do their lives matter?

This raises an important point: what does it mean for a life to matter? In order for a life to have meaning, what needs to happen?

Meaning doesn’t just come from changing the world. You don’t need to be an Alexander the Great or an Albert Einstein to be important. You just need to have an impact on the people around you — your family, your friends, your coworkers, and so on.

That’s the lesson of the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, that even when you feel that your life doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme, the world would be a different place if you didn’t exist. You can’t help but matter, because your very existence has changed the world.

So how can we convey that to others? How can we tell people around us that they mean something? Something to us, something to their community? How can we show people they matter?

Related questions: How could you show your appreciation for others more? How does your identity matter? How much power does an individual have? What gives a person value?

What Do You Do When Your Personal Values Conflict With Societal Values?

Choosing the values that mean something to you is an important part of establishing a personal identity. But what happens if your values conflict with society’s?

Deciding what matters to you and what values you want to live by is something that we all must do at some point. If you value, for example, curiosity and discovery, your life may be very different than if you value financial independence.

Determining your values is not an easy task, and they may very well change over time. As you age, what is important to you might evolve, and your values will also change as a result.

The same is true for a society. What a community thinks is important and what gets collective attention and resources can vary, sometimes quite drastically. This might be influenced by a wide set of variables, including prominent individuals, technological change, international events, pop culture, and so on.

For example, in the early 1950s, space exploration was not a high priority for most. Then the Soviet Union launched Sputnik, kicking off the space race. President Kennedy then challenged our ambition, saying, “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills.”

Values changed, and that dictated where our time, money, and energy was spent.

Given that both individuals and societies can have values and priorities, what happens when those two inevitably come into conflict?

The last ten or fifteen years have seen drastic changes to public values, which in turn has alienated or isolated people who disagreed with those changes. Is there a productive, healthy way to deal with that? How can an individual be true to what they believe in if all around them is the opposite?

Related questions: What are your values? How do you demonstrate your values? What is important? What makes a community?

What Makes Something A Human Right?

Politicians and philosophers sometimes talk about a human right, a right we humans have merely due to our existence. But what makes that so?

The U.S. Constitution details a few of these rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. At other times, individual rights like housing, health care, fresh air and clean water, and others have been mentioned.

The idea is that these are inalienable rights, that is, rights that confer on us as soon as we are born. They do not have to do with our status, our job, our family, or any other external factor. We have them because all people have them, regardless of race, gender, class, country of origin, or any other factor.

Of course, this is an ideal, or an aspiration. As a society, we believe individuals should have these things. But of course, there have been many times in many places throughout history where human beings have not had these rights.

Including the in the United States. Despite what the U.S. Constitution says, historically rights were not given evenly to people based on race and gender. That has evolved and changed over time. But today there are efforts underway to remove some of these rights for some accused of criminal behavior, or others who have questionable immigration status.

Fundamentally, it begs the question: what makes something a human right? Why did life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness make the cut, and others didn’t? Is health care a human right? How do we decide? And if we can have differing opinions, and if we, as a society can change our mind about it, is it a right that we are born with?

Related questions: Is health care a human right? Does nature have rights? Do animals have rights? Personal rights or public safety?

Who Are You?

When a family member, friend, or colleague introduces me to someone, I often ask the person what many think is an awkward conversation starter. I ask, “Who are you?” I usually put an inflection on the word “are,” which apparently makes things even more strange. If it’s at a social gathering and they’ve come with their spouse, they may answer, “I am so-and-so’s partner.” Others assume I am asking about what they do for a living: “Oh, I’m so-and-so, and I work at such-and-such a place.”

Because they thought the question was odd, they usually ask, “Is that what you mean?” I reply that I had no preset notion about the appropriate answer. I just wanted to know how they identify themselves and what that means about their life.

I usually continue, “It could be, as you shared, how you are connected to the people here today. It could be about your job. It could be that you are a parent. Heck, it could be a unique hobby that you have. The person I am now with may perceive the question as really practical or, perhaps, existential. It could serve as, ‘What makes you tick?'”

Sometimes, their eyes light up with this clarification. One person recently told me, “As a hobby, I’m a woodworker. Mainly, I make cabinets.” This answer began a conversation I had never thought I’d be having. I know nothing about cabinet-making, so I had tons of questions.

So, now it’s your turn. Does your occupation mainly define your identity? Does family (including pets) come first? Do you aspire to be something you’re just now practicing–like, “I’m training for a marathon?” Do you have a proper work-life balance, so any take on the question is fair game? Or will the conversation become a chat about how you’re trying to work fewer hours so you can do something else that you feel needs your attention?

So, dear reader, who are you?

Related questions: What makes you you? What do you believe? How are you special? What makes a person interesting?

Hugs Or Kisses?

When you show affection, do you prefer to give (or receive) hugs or kisses? Is your answer culturally driven, or merely a personal preference?

Share why if you wish.

Hugs Or Kisses?
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