Category: Emotions

How Do You Deal With Disappointment?

Disappointment is something that we all have in common. The way we deal with it, though, can vary drastically.

When something disappoints you, it is only natural to be sad. You expected one outcome, and it didn’t happen. How else should you feel?

It depends on the situation, of course. Another common emotion that you might feel is anger. You might be mad at the universe, or at someone specific, or even at yourself. Who feels the brunt of your anger is difficult to predict.

You might also feel confused, depending on your level of certainty prior to the disappointment. How could such a thing happen?

One thing these emotions have in common is that they are negative emotions. It is rare indeed that being disappointed leads to happiness, or contentment, or joy of any kind.

The resulting actions, though, can be positive or negative. Sadness might lead to depression, or it might lead to empathy for others dealing with similar situations. A violent outburst might result from anger, but it might strengthen your resolve. Confusion could cause you to give up; alternately confusion could trigger curiosity.

How do you deal with disappointment? Has that changed over the years? How is it different when you are the one experiencing it, versus helping someone else who has been disappointed?

Related questions: How can we turn sadness into constructive action? What is the right amount of emotion? When is it useful to fail?

 

What Is The Relationship Between Fear And Passion?

Passion and fear are both emotions that you are bound to experience over time. Are they linked in some way?

On the surface, there wouldn’t seem to be much in common between the emotion of passion and that of fear. One would seem to be positive, and bring about joy and interest. The other is more negative.

However, once you are passionate about something, you might very well fear it’s loss.

Imagine something, if you will, about which you are passionate. Maybe your family or friends. A sports team, perhaps, or a career.

Now think about a threat it might be taken away from you. What might you do to prevent that? What lengths might you go to keep the thing that you love, that brings meaning to your life?

The person who doesn’t care about anything doesn’t fear losing anything. They don’t, however, experience the same joy and happiness that the rest of us do.

Passion can generate fear in another way, as well. Think about  a performer getting up at an open mic, or an author with a new book, or an athlete in a championship game. They care deeply about what they are doing, but are scared about presenting to the public, and how their work will be received. They fear messing up, of failing in front of everyone. Yet that fear can also drive them.

So how are the fear and passion related? And how does the experience of one inform the other? How can we prepare for them both, in a way that is productive and healthy?

Related questions: What are you passionate about? What role does fear play in your life? What is the right amount of emotion?

Anger Or Fear?

There is a school of thought that suggests anger is simply fear in disguise. When you experience something unpleasant, how are you more likely to react?

Share why if you wish.

Anger Or Fear?
Results

How Have You Experienced Collective Grief?

If you experience a loss that is shared by a large group, you might well experience collective grief. What are some examples?

Shared loss can come in many different forms. One of the most common is when a well known figure dies. The death of an accomplished actor, an influential musician, or sports idol can be very powerful, and affect a large group of people.

When Prince died, for example, people gathered outside his Minnesota home to pay their respects. Sales of his albums spiked, and many fans wore his signature color purple in his honor.

Another example is some sort of large-scale tragedy. Individuals tell stories of where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001. Shocking events, like the assassination of JFK, the attack on Pearl Harbor, or the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger were all notable and seared into public consciousness.

There have been several of these events over the last decade or so. In one year alone, we had the public shutdown from COVID-19 in March 2020, followed by the marches after the murder of George Floyd later that summer, to the attack on the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021. Each event, in it’s own way, was cause for grief and sorrow.

Are there events, these or others, that led to a large outpouring of emotion for you and people around you? Have you experienced a neighborhood trying to find a way to make sense of tragedy, as frustration and grief and anger all go through individuals and groups? What has brought solace to you, as well as to friends and neighbors in your community?

Related questions: How can we turn sadness into constructive action? How do you maintain hope? With which groups do you identify? Are we living through history?

How Do You Deal With Suffering?

Regardless of your lot in life, you will have to deal with suffering at some point, either your own or someone else’s. How will you handle it?

There are many different ways to go through difficult times. “Suffering” can be defined in many different ways.

One common type is to go through an emotional grieving process at the loss of a family member or other loved one. Because everyone dies eventually, we will all need to handle grief and the wave of emotions that can come with it several times over throughout the course of an average lifespan.

Similarly, the longer you live, the more likely you will have some sort of health problem. These can run the gamut from minor but intense to long-term, chronic issues.

There is yet another wrinkle thrown in when you have to deal not with your own, but the suffering of someone close to you. Even if you don’t experience the pain directly, either physical or emotional, watching a loved one go through it and being unable to do anything to ease that pain can be very difficult.

So how do you deal with it? Chances are, you have had the experience a number of times already, and will have many more in the future. So how did you handle it in the past, and how will you approach future events? Do you keep things bottled up, or share with others? Are you more likely to experience anger, grim resignation, or black humor? How do you deal with suffering?

Related questions: What is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced? What is the right amount of emotion? How do you deal with loss? What can you learn from loss? What are our responsibilities to others?